Chapter Three: Slumber Party

DESMOND

After having good date, but ending on a weird note, I was glad Wesam, and I had decided we would do it again soon. I was taken by surprise when Wesam had asked me to accompany him Wednesday evening, to his cousin’s engagement party. I thought this was quite the event to bring a guy you’ve met twice, but I did find it inclusive, as you didn’t bring just anyone to a family event. Wesam must have seen something in me as he wanted me to be there. When I discussed it with Cassidy, he had been happy for me and had mirrored my ideas. He did think it was kind of soon to meet family, but it was a good sign for the two of us.

The day before I was meant to meet Wesam, I has a few thoughts about what I should wear to event. Normally I didn’t care too much about what I wore, but I thought I should put a little effort in what I was going to wear. After all I was going to be meeting important people and I didn’t want to look bad in Wesam’s eyes. Soon as I heard I went online and ordered myself some new things, to mark the occasion.

‘I got a package for you,’ said Debs, a woman a middle-aged black woman who always wore stylish head scarfs, who worked the front desk.

‘Thank you,’ I said, taking the package from her.

‘Anything good,’ she asked, being a little nosy.

‘Yes, I’ve got an engagement dinner tomorrow. So, I got a new shirt.’

‘Let’s have a look.’

I open the bag to find the crimson shirt with the black cuffs and collar. It looked better in person than it did on the website. I was glad I got it.

‘That does look good,’ said Debs, looking over the shirt. ‘Whose engagement party are going to?’

I didn’t know how to answer. It wasn’t that I wasn’t out, it was just weird sometimes to articulate things to people who wasn’t part of the umbrella. I knew I could lie, but I decided to be honest.

‘Umm, the guy I’m seeing… has invited to his cousin’s engagement party.’

‘Wow Really? That’s kind a big deal,’ said Debs, taking on the gravitas that everyone kept placing on this event. ‘You didn’t say you were seeing someone either.’

‘Err… cos it’s sort of… all new, is all. I mean this is only our second date.’

‘Talk about no pressure.’

‘Well, I did meet the cousin, when I met him. So, I sort of know her.’

‘That makes a bit of sense,’ said Debs, in a curious way. ‘Also, it makes sense why you’ve seemed different in the last week.’

‘What do you mean?’ I asked, curious to know what Debs meant.

‘Oh nothing,’ she said, off hand-ish. ‘I’ve just noticed a different attitude with you. You seem… happier.’

‘Do I?’

‘Well at least to me. I don’t think anyone else cares or notices.’ With that she got up and went back towards her desk.

I did wonder about what I had been told. Did I feel happier? I couldn’t tell, but if someone else had noticed I seemed happier, maybe I was. I thought about the last time I felt happy, I really tried to think about it. Then it hit me, I remembered, finishing my degree almost ten years ago. Since then, not a lot of good has happened with me or within my life. Maybe my life was hitting a turning point, having good things happen to me. I hoped the next night would continue with this happier life.

WESAM

Wednesday morning after finishing my gym session, I waited for my flatmate Heung-Min just outside the changing room. I thought about my plans for the evening. I was going to meeting Desmond, which was nice. However, I was going to be around Saanah which was going to be something. I knew Saanah would say something embarrassing or something about my past or childhood. With all her good intentions there was a good chance she was going to mess things up. I knew I couldn’t avoid her as it was her party. I hoped that Lyn would help control the questioning.

‘Okay let’s go,’ said Heung-Min, finding me. ‘You worried about tonight?’ he asked after we walked out of the gym.

‘Only a little,’ I said, ‘I’m more worried about what might be said rather than what might happen.’

‘What do you think going to happen?’

‘I don’t know.’

‘Sexy time maybe?’

‘Not that,’ I said, firmly. ‘I’m more worried that someone might mess it up.’

‘It’s just lesbians, yes?’ asked Heung-Min.

‘Yes, but one of those lesbians happens to know my past and could say something that might not put me in the best light.’

‘You’re worried he might find out about, Niko?’

There was his name. We hadn’t said his name in a very long time. We always mentioned him by he or him, never by his name. As saying his name was too painful.

‘Yes,’ I said, not looking at Heung-Min.

‘Don’t worry about it. He was the bad guy not you. You didn’t do anything thing wrong. If he was to find out him, he would understand. Also, I don’t know your cousin too well, is it such a good idea to mention such a bad time in your life?’

I knew the truth, but it didn’t bring me any comfort.

‘I know,’ I said, ‘but you know, it could just come up, with a simple comment about how he seems nicer than the last one, it could open a whole can of worms.’

‘Maybe,’ said Heung-Min, simply, ‘anyway think about something else, something more exciting. Like you get to see this man again.’

‘There is that.’

‘How do you think that is going?’

‘Fine,’ I said, trying to switch my mind to the man I was currently seeing, and not the one I used too. ‘No, it’s going good. I think we need to be a little more direct and honest with each other, but I think that will come in time.’

‘I prefer being direct,’ said Heung-Min, ‘It’s easier and I don’t waste a lot of time. If I like someone, I like you done.’

‘I wish I could be like you. I do like him.’

‘Tell him tonight and not me.’

I considered this advice and thought it might be a good idea. When I thought about it, I liked the idea of telling him. But to me, the idea of saying it to Desmond seemed a little bit alien and even a little bit more touchy feely that I was comfortable with. To be honest it felt a little gay. Even thought I was gay, I needed to stop using that as a descriptor. Also, it made me feel a little juvenile, as back then I did want to tell that boy I liked, that he liked him. I never did as I knew that boy was straight. Desmond wasn’t straight, I could tell him, and it all might be okay.

‘You know what,’ I said, ‘I will tell him. What’s the worst that could happen?’

‘You marry and he’s after your money.’ said Heung-Min, with a smile.

‘HA! Funny!’

DESMOND

To say that I was nervous was an understatement. I was super worried. I had to be cool Infront of the guy I was into, while also meeting members of his extended family. This was going to be a hard no matter how I thought about. If I thought about it just as date, then it wouldn’t too be hard. Then if I tried to put down as just going to an event, that was harder as I knew no one at the event. What I needed was to get inside and put a drink or two in my hand, then I could relax.

The party was being held in pub in Norwood somewhere. I had changed after work and was to meet Wesam at the trains stain. Which was good, because walking into an unfamiliar place alone was too much to even think, let alone handle. When I got off the train, I was glad to be one who was early. This would no doubt give me some good points.  I waited just beyond the ticket machines at the station.

While I waited, a few ideas crept thought my head. When would Wesam meet my sister? How would I go about getting him to meet my mother? I didn’t know, but I knew how I would do it, in a very causal kind meet, and not meeting so many people at once.

I tried to push these feelings and ideas out of my head, as I could have said no to this evening. I was just being ethicistic about meeting Wesam again, which was the only reason we were meeting. I had been given an out, but I decided to be brave for once. Step out of my comfort zone. Hell, I was happy to be introduced as someone’s date for a change. I had never been someone’s plus one in a non-platonic way ever! If there was going to be one positive, this was the positive of this evening.

I stopped thinking about what could go wrong when I saw Wesam coming towards me. I didn’t know how Wesam did it, he just looked so effort less. He wore a light blue suit, burgundy shirt, and black tie. It just made him look much of a man.

‘Hey,’ said Wesam, as he got towards me.

‘I’m on time this time,’ I said, not sure how to greet Wesam.

‘I can see that, and we’re slightly matching.’

I looked at myself and hadn’t even realised that we were both wearing a similar shirt colour. However, I thought Wesam was the better dressed of the two of us. As I had only just put on a dark park pair of chinos, and light jacket. Making myself look more well better presented. Rather than Wesam looking like a traditional English gentleman.

‘People are definitely going to know we are together,’ I said, then realised how it sounded.

‘Or that we planned it,’ said Wesam, with a wink. ‘Or… they will think to two guys who came together dressed a like.’

‘We are gay, so they have to know it.’

‘Yes, they do,’ said Wesam, with a smile.

With that the two of us carried on down the street following the directions on Wesam’s phone. It was only about five-minute walk from the station to the pub. When we got in, they went downstairs into the part the space, and found the room to be fairly filled out, and nicely decorated. There was nothing tacky about the decorations. It was all done with white and gold balloons, and matching colour banner saying congratulations. Infront was a two-layer cake, with nibbles placed around it. While light down tempo music played. I noticed a lot of the guests were women, with only a few men in the bunch. Which made sese of course. Which allowed me to relax a little. I had always found myself more comfortable around women. I took off my jacket and placed it on one the hooks close to the door and wondered what I should do.

‘Let’s get a drink, and see if we can find Saanah,’ said Wesam, as if he read my thoughts. We walked over to the bar where the person behind the bar handed us each a glass of prosecco. ‘I think you’ll like Lyn more than Saanah.’

‘Why’s that?’ I asked, curious.

‘She’s a lot more laid back than my cousin. That why I like her more anyway.’

‘Oh okay,’ was all I could say. Then I had a thought for a second. ‘Is any of your family here?’

Wesam didn’t say anything for a moment, then he looked thought the crowd and then said, ‘I can just see my aunt and uncle, which is nice.’

I felt relived then immediately felt sad. None more of Wesam’s family was here, which must be sad. Then I got a little annoyed. Had this been the reason why he had invited me, knowing there wouldn’t be any family here besides maybe one or two?

‘I’m sorry,’ I said, getting the better of myself.

‘No need to be,’ said Wesam, sounding indifferent. ‘They might show up later, but I doubt it. These kinds of things aren’t for them. But maybe the wedding if my aunt has anything to say about it.’

Before I could follow up and make sure my date was okay, we were spotted by Saanah and her fiancé.

‘Hi, hi,’ said Saanah, kissing her cousin on the cheek. ‘Nice to see you again’ she said doing the same to me.

‘Congratulations,’ I said.

‘Thank you, and this is Lyn.’ She wore a black dress with the left shoulder exposed, displaying a very elaborate owl tattoo, that took up most of her bicep. Her nails were short and were striking bright yellow contrasting her dress. Her skin was the colour of burnt caramel. Her hair was long and black, and her fringe had been box cut shaping her beautiful face.

‘Hello,’ I said, going for the more formal handshake with the women I had just met.

‘Right, I’m sorry we have to do a little bit of business now,’ said Saanah, directly to Wesam. ‘I’ve got to take your date to say hello to the fam otherwise there will be hell to pay. However, I’ve leave you in Lyn’s capable hands.’

‘I will be five minutes,’ said Wesam. With that the two left, leaving me with a stranger.

‘You get used to it,’ said Lyn, after a moment.

‘What?’ I asked.

‘The way their family works. I mean my family don’t have this whole need to do things the right way, but you get used to it.’

‘Sure,’ I said, feeling like that would be the correct response. ‘So, what do you do?’

‘I’m an artist, and I’m having a fairly good response lately.’

‘How so?’

‘I’m doing a lot of things with queer identity and gender.’

‘Sounds fun,’

‘I think so, so what do you do?’

‘I do tech repair, broken phones, laptops that kind of thing.’

‘Ahh, a handy man,’ said Lyn, ‘Good to know. So how are you getting on with Wesam?’

I had to pause for a minute, as I wasn’t sure what I could say, or should say.

‘I think we’re going okay, it’s only our second date.’

‘Ha! And they say lesbians move fast. Not to worry he’s a good guy, and you’re giving me real good guy energy so I think you two will do well. Much better than the last guy he was seeing?’

‘What do you mean?’ I asked quickly, curious to know what she meant and what the previous guy was like.

‘Oh, he was a right dick. I don’t want to say too much, but he was just no good. I only met him a hand full of times, but when I did, he just gave me just bad vibes.’

I didn’t say anything I just nodded slowly.

‘Don’t worry he’s in the past, you’re the future. Come meet some of my girlfriends.

After my little chat with Lyn, I kept wondering how bad Wesam’s ex was. I wondered if we shared a similar thing with bad exes. I didn’t think about it too much, been introduced to a load of Lyn’s friends. They were all friendly and had a very interesting discussion about comic book moves with one of them. So much so, we ended exchange numbers to continue the discussion over the next big release. 

‘You’re picking up women,’ said Wesam, reappearing as the women had just excused herself to the ladies. ‘I thought you were meant to be here with me.’

‘Am I?’ I asked, ‘since I haven’t seen you for...’ I looked my watch, ‘twenty-three minutes.’

‘I know I’m sorry, I got cornered, by another cousin and their wife. But you know what I’m sorry.’

I smiled; it was nice seeing Wesam apologetic. I hadn’t honestly minded as I had now made several new friends.

‘Well since you did leave me alone at party you invited me too, I think it’s about time you watched a movie of mine.’

WESAM

Desmond had driven a hard bargain, but it was worth it. During the party I had agreed to doing what we had agreed to when we first met. Many people did want to speak to me at the party, as they hadn’t seen me in a long time. Which left Desmond to mingle with a large group of women. During the party I could see that Desmond was perfectly fine being with the women. Which was a small comfort to me. The next day I had heard back from Saanah that a lot of her friends found him quite pleasant to be around. Which Saanah sadly couldn’t also confirm as she was far too busy doing hosting duties.

As I stood in the Tesco after traveling to Canada Water, I wondered what I should bring with me. I also liked to bring to something to someone’s home, but tonight was a little different. I was going to someone’s house I was seeing. This might not be a big deal to a lot of people, but it was too me. I didn’t want to seem presumptuous, or expect anything, but it could be seen that way. Which is why I was wondering what would be more ideal, wine, ice cream or something else. Right then I had a really wished I had asked what Desmond liked to have when he watched movies. I knew what I would like, a nice load of pick and mix.

Fifteen minutes later I was standing outside Desmond’s block, with a bottle of wine, and a couple bags of Haribo’s as I waited to be buzzed into the building. When I was, I took the lift in the fairly quite building to the top floor and knocked and waited outside number forty-nine.

‘Hey,’ said Desmond, opening the door.

‘Hey,’ I responded.

‘Glad to see you found it okay,’ said Desmond, letting me into the flat. The flat was more a loft space than anything else. It was one medium sized room, that combined several rooms into one. Slightly away front of the door was a small staircase they led to what looked like a bed. Directly under the bed space was two-seater sofa, with a little green rug underneath it that ran up towards the TV unit. Which was next to a large window. Around the TV unit stood very tall bookcase holding, DVD’s and Blu Ray’s. Just to the left of the units and around a corner was a door, that led to another small looking room. On the backside of the room stood a wardrobe, with a couple drawers underneath. Next to that was a washing machine. There was a little out cove that housed a little kitchen area, with a breakfast bar connecting the two spaces. And just by the entry of the kitchen space stood a fridge freezer.

‘Yeah, it was a bit tricky, but I figured it out,’ I said, taking off my jacket.

‘Yeah, sometimes maps takes you to one of the other buildings, but you’ve got to just check the numbers.’

‘So, this is your place.’

‘I know what you’re thinking,’ said Desmond, hanging up my coat. ‘It’s small it’s cramped, but I just like having my own space, so I make it work.

I was thinking some of those things, but Desmond was right, it was nice being able to live alone.

‘Well, I like it,’ I said, being honest.

‘I’m glad, I just don’t like that I can’t watch TV in bed. So, what did you bring?’

‘I err, got a bottle a wine and some sweets. I didn’t know what you usually have.’

‘That’s okay,’ said Desmond going towards his kitchen. ‘I always have movie supplies. It’s the only thing me and Light really do.’

‘Oh okay,’ I said, realising I had forgotten who I was dealing with. ‘What do you usually have then?’

‘As you know I don’t really like sweet things, and my sister doesn’t like Light to have sweets. I usually do a little bowl of sweet and salty popcorn and a bowl of crisp. Mine favourite being salted Kettle Chips and Light’s been Wotsits.’

‘I should have maybe asked that question an hour ago.’

‘Yeah, then I would have to you gotten us these,’ said Desmond, taking a box of GU strawberry Cheesecake.

I was stunned, I didn’t know what to say. I loved those desserts and wondered why I never thought to get any.

‘These are my favourite,’ I said, getting back the ability to speak.

‘I know you told me.’

I had told him. I had no memory of him telling him that. When would have done this?

‘When did I tell you that?’ I asked.

‘I don’t know, but it came up when I asked you what your favourite desert was whenever that was. When I went out earlier, I saw them, and I thought why not.’

I couldn’t believe Desmond had remember something like that. It was something so small, but he remembered. I then thought what else Desmond might have remembered about me. Then I had a sudden thought, what do I remember about Desmond? What did Desmond like? I didn’t know. I suddenly realised I should pay more attention and take notes of what Desmond likes.

‘Well thank you,’ I said, ‘this was very… nice.’ Before anything could make me think otherwise, I decided to lean in and give Desmond a quick kiss on the lips. ‘So, shall we watch this movie then?’ I asked trying not to make the situation awkward.

‘You take a seat and I’ll get the stuff ready,’ said Desmond, remembering what he was doing. ‘You have a choice,’ he said loudly from his kitchen. ‘We can watch one in the new current timeline, or we could watch one my old favourites. Bear in mind though if we watch the new one you haven’t read the book yet to compare.’

‘Umm,’ I said, taking a seat on the sofa. ‘I guess we can watch one of your favourite ones.’

‘Great,’ said Desmond putting down a set of glasses on his side table, then turning around. ‘I really hoped you would say that.’

I begin to wonder how much Desmond knew about me. As it was becoming clearer to me, Desmond was well invested in in. As the glass in front of me was a glass of what looked like Sprite.

‘Anyway, a lot of people will say that this isnt one of his best, but I think I like it a little more over his next,’ Desmond was saying going to and from the kitchen bring out spoons and bowls of snacks.

‘His?’ I asked, wonder who this his was.

‘Sorry, the Bond actor. I’ve just got so used to explain it like that to people. Well people who have seen more than one.’ Desmond then went to this bookcase and pulled a thick looking boxset. ‘We’re going to watch The Living Daylights.’

‘Never heard of it.’

Desmond quicky set up the movie while decided to keep quiet about the film’s details. He didn’t want to spoil my decision on the movie, with all his judgements. All he said on the matter was, I could easily understand what was going even without having seen or remembering another movie. Then he put the movie and we watched in silence.

I did pay attention to the movie, and half through it I realised I was quite enjoying it. I did have to think of it thought a different time scope, but he was enjoying. At one point in the movie when they had just escaped a jail, I noticed that Desmond had fallen asleep. I didn’t want to wake him, as he had seen the movie before, and clearly must be tired. I watched the rest of the movie alone. When the credits rolled, I decided to wake up Desmond.

‘What?’ said Desmond, after being gentle rocked awake.

‘It’s over, and you fell asleep,’ I said.

‘Really?’

‘I’m afraid so.’

‘Damm,’ said Desmond, straightening himself up. ‘You are a lot better to watch movies with than Cassidy, he’s always making comments. Did you like it?’

‘Yes, I did,’ I said, honestly. ‘Thank you for not constantly asking or watch me to see if was.’

‘No problem.’

‘Well then maybe I should get going.’ I looked at my phone to see how long it would take me to get home, when it said one hour and twenty-five minutes, I knew something was wrong. I looked to see what was wrong, all the Jubilee Line trains had been cancelled. ‘Crap.’

‘What’s wrong?’ asked Desmon, who had gotten to his feet.

‘All the trains have been cancelled. I either have to take a bus or Uber.’

‘You can just stay here if it’s easier,’ said Desmond after a few moments.

‘I could?’ I asked.

‘I don’t mind, it’s no bother.’

I stood there for a moment. Was this a good idea? We’d only kissed for the first time that night and now we were going to have a slumber party? Furthermore, I didn’t have anything to change into for the next day or brush my teeth. I knew this were all silly excuses not to stay, but inside myself I knew I wanted to, so why was I hesitating?

‘Yeah, okay then,’ I said.

‘Great,’ said Desmond, taking the disk out of the player. ‘Did you want to go to bed now?’

‘Umm… I don’t mind. You seem pretty tired.’

‘Is it sad, that its barely eleven on a Saturday I’m ready for bed?’

‘No, because I am ready too.’

‘Well, I’m going clear this stuff away, and then I get you something to sleep in.’

‘No, its fine,’ I said, quickly. ‘I usually sleep in my underwear any way.’

‘Right,’ said Desmond, looking wide eyed. ‘Well, why don’t you head up. You can put your clothes on the back of the chairs. If you want.’

‘Can I use the bathroom first?’

‘Sure. It’s right there.’

I walked towards the door near the TV and went in. It was a very small room. It had a little shower to the left and right opposite the door was a sink and toilet. I relived myself, gave my face a quick wash, then swirled some mouthwash round my mouth. Then headed back out into the main room to get myself read to go to bed. I came out to find that Desmond had changed from his jumper and jeans into pyjamas bottoms and a t-shirt. All the lights were out, except two lights. The one’s that were still lit were the bed lights that was halfway up the wall.

‘You can head up if you like,’ said Desmond, ‘I’ll be up in a minute.’ Then he went into the bathroom.

Decided I didn’t feel like I need the embarrassment of having Desmond come out and see me stripping. I quickly undressed to my underwear, put my clothes into hep a left them on the stool by the breakfast bar and quickly walked up to the bed. I quickly got under the covers and headed to the furthest part away from the stairs, and just waited. After moment I heard the toilet flush, the door opened and heard Desmond come up to bed.

‘Thanks for not taking my side,’ said Desmond, getting over the sheets.

‘You’re welcome,’ I said, as it was the only thing I could say.

‘Easier access to the bathroom if I need it. Do you need to charge your phone?’

‘Umm, maybe,’ I said, realising I had left my phone in my pocket with the rest of his clothes.

‘I have little charging hub here if you want me to put it on.’

‘I would if I didn’t leave my phone with my clothes.’

‘Okay,’ said Desmond, ‘Do you want to go get it?’

‘No, I’m good.’

‘Mind if I turn out the lights?’

‘Go for it.’

Then the two of us lay there in the dark. I couldn’t help but feel super awkward about this situation. I didn’t know why.

‘Wesam, can I ask you something?’ asked Desmond.

‘Sure,’ I said, curious to know what I was going to be asked.

‘Do you feel a little awkward about being here?’

‘Well, yeah a little.’

‘I just wanted to say, I do not know what we’re doing here, but the one thing I do know is, I don’t want to have sex with you. I don’t mean I don’t want to at all, but since we’re still kind of figuring things out I don’t want to rush it. I mean we didn’t really kiss until tonight, so I don’t want you to worry about it.’

I took a couple moments to think about what I wanted to reply. It was good Desmond was being honest and direct about his approach, and that maybe we might be thinking the same thing.

‘What made you want to tell me that?’ I asked.

‘Well, this is kind of was our third date, and you know in traditional things people expect you should be sleeping with someone by the third date. And you know we’re men and gay men and people expect us to be having a lot of sex, and we’re not. I just want to make things clear to you and be honest about it. I do like you, and I don’t want to do something silly and ruin it by sleeping with you too soon. I hope you understand.’

I had a lot to take in, Desmond had said he had liked me. He had also laid out his intentions. Which I completely agreed with. I did like Desmond, and I didn’t want to have sex with him too soon either. While I did consider all the stereotypes associated with gay men and didn’t want to be a cliché.

‘Thank you for being honest with me,’ I started, ‘I don’t think I could have been that honest with you. I agree I don’t want to rush the sex thing either. In the past I have, and I’ve realised now that sex without feelings isn’t, something I like. But I do like you too, and I don’t want to rush it. And this situation of us having a sudden sleepover is a bit of a question mark. So, I’m glad we both have come to the same understanding.’

I couldn’t see Desmond hand, but I felt for it and grabbed his hand. Desmond squeezed my hand back, and then decided to do something brave. I moved in closer towards Desmond, and decided to kiss him, and this time we had a proper kiss.