Chapter Two: (Drop Dead) Beautiful

DESMOND

I was sitting on a suspended train somewhere between Waterloo and Embankment. I knew I was going to be late. The driver had said there were delays on the platform, so they were being held in the tunnel. I was meant to be meeting Wesam for our first official meeting in five minutes. Even if the train moved in the next couple seconds I still had to get through a few more stops, then the station, and down the street and meet my date.

I couldn’t help but think, this was a great impression I was making. I had delayed getting in contact with Wesam, due to my phone being stolen, and not using sense. Now for us for meeting I was going to be late, I the having people waiting around for me. Since I was in the tunnel there was no way, I could send a message. I was just stuck.

Since our meeting on Tuesday, we had spoken on the phone, on the Wednesday. Spoken through a lot of messages on the Thursday and Friday. Now we were sending the Saturday night together. All our message each day started and ended the same. One of us would say good morning, and then ended in a good night before bed. It was nice. It gave a nice finality and beginning to each of our chats. Compared to other guys who would just go to bed without notice, or just reply when they felt like it. This was nice and a present change of pace.

As the minutes counted down, to when I was meant to there went down, I could only hope Wesam thought that I was worth it. As I got chatting to Wesam the more I really liked him. He was a decent man and seemed like he was as beautiful on the inside. It was nice that he had it going on in all three areas. Brains, body, and mind. He was a well-rounded individual. Now all I needed was to win him around in person.

The nerves going through me were more intense than when I first approached Wesam. As then I knew it could have gone nowhere immediately. This time there had been some context behind why we were meeting, and the general idea of the two of us. Now I needed to make sure i lived up the hype and hope the idea of Wesam was what I was expecting.

Finally, the train finally got moving. Now I was going to be most likely ten minutes late. I’d better pay for dinner or offer something else.

WESAM

Going out on a Saturday night wasn’t something I normally did. Normally on a Saturday I would either sit at home reading or going for dinner at Saanah and Lyn’s every once and a while. To some it might seem slow or boring, but I liked it. That’s why it was a little bit of a shock for me to be waiting in Soho on a Saturday night.

Deciding to meet Desmond was a gamble, as I had made plans to meet him after helping Saanah tell her parents she was getting married. There could have been a chance thing had gone horribly, and I would have had to cancel our meeting, but it was a risk I wanted to take. However, things with the family had gone surprisingly well. The biggest disagreement was what type of ceremony they were going to have.

Saanah’s mother had been outraged when she was told, they would be having a non-faith ceremony. As both brides were of the non-practicing faith. When I was asked what he thought about this, I agreed with my cousin as I would most likely do the same. The only way the situation was won around were to have some traditional elements to the bridal party. Which one or both I didn’t know, but it was good to leave on a positive note. Which is why I was here in Soho happy to be going on a date. So maybe one day I might have a similar situation.

I looked at my watch, and saw it was just gone seven. I wondered where Desmond could be. I immediately pushed out the idea I was being stood up. After the drama that was waiting for a message, I knew Desmond was coming, he must be running late.

As I waited on the corner of Greek Street, I started looking at the men that walked past me. As I looked at them, I couldn’t really see myself with any of them. Not that I was judging anyone, but a lot of them wasn’t my type. But what was his type? I knew my type wasn’t what I was looking at. Was Desmond my type? I didn’t know. But as I took in the; short, tall, muscular, slim and everything in-between. Honestly there was nothing floating my boat.

A strange thought then went through my mind. What about Demond’s friend? Was he, my type? I didn’t know that either. What I did know, out the two, the friend was defiantly more what people would normally be more attracted to. But did that mean I found him attractive? Before I could think about it further, I stopped because Desmond was coming towards me. Suddenly I felt a very strong feeling of pleasure and happiness. Which I hadn’t felt in only god knew how long. 

DESMOND

After rushing to get off the tube I found myself rushing towards Soho. As I turned the corner, I saw Wesam standing there looking as good as the first day I’d met him. He looked like one of those pictures of someone modelling their street style clothes. As I approached, I notice his complexion was like sand at sunset. His hair looked perfectly designed, luxurious full of volume and in a layered skin to fade cut. He just looked so beautiful.  Even though he wasn’t dressed in suit today he still looked as stylish. He wore a light blue polo shirt, dark wash jeans and tan shoes. Covered with a simple leather jacket.

‘Hey,’ I said, as he approached. ‘Sorry I am late, I got stuck on the tube, and had not signal, and by the time you got the message I’d be here. I’m rambling, but my point is I’m sorry, and I’m a sucky person.’

‘It’s okay,’ said Wesam.

‘It’s okay if you little annoyed. That’s why dinner is going to be on me.’

‘There is no need for that.’

‘I need to do something,’ I said, really feeling like I needed to make up for my bad behaviour.’

‘I’ll tell you what,’ said Wesam, with a slight smile, ‘You can get me some desert later and all will be fine.’

Taking Wesam at his word, I agreed with, ‘You got it.’

‘So, the place is down here,’ Wesam said, pointing down the street.

The two of us walked down the street not really saying anything. It wasn’t an awkward silence, but it was allowing the two of us to settle into each other’s company. We had only walked for a minute before we reached the restaurant we were going to.

‘I’ve been here a couple times with flatmate,’ said Wesam, while they stopped outside a restaurant called Bibimbap. ‘It was good for me, and I really enjoy it when we come here.’

‘I’ll enjoy it too,’ I said, maybe a bit too quickly and enthusiastic.

When we walked in, we were seated right away over a party of four. We were seated right next to the window. I took the seat facing the restaurant as I didn’t want to be distract by the people walking pass the window. As we sat, we took their jackets off, and I couldn’t help but notice the size of Wesam biceps. They were quite muscular and wasn’t what I was expecting. I looked over the menu and didn’t know what half the things were, but I was quite excited by the possibilities.

‘What do you think you’re going to get? I asked.

‘I’m not sure,’ said Wesam, ‘I think I’ve had the chicken and something else.’

‘Okay,’ I said, it was good to know he ate meat. ‘Well, the chicken does sound good.’

In the end we decided to order almost the same thing. They both order side serving of Korean Fried Chicken, two chicken bibimbap’s, Wesam ordered a Sprite and I order a Diet Coke. Then we had to wait.

This was the part I had prepared for. Now we needed to talk and talk about something that wasn’t too superficial. This is where I needed to show what kind of person I was. While also trying to get information out of the man in front of me.

‘How was your day,’ asked Wesam, before I could start a conversation.

‘It was okay,’ I said, ‘What about you?’ I quickly added before forgetting.

‘It went a lot better than I expected.’

‘What did you do?’

‘Nothing much, went to the gym and then met my family in the afternoon.’

Oh, he was a gym person, that explains the arms.

‘That seems nice,’ I said, still thinking about the gym.

‘What about you?’

‘I umm… stayed home, did the laundry and looked after my nephew for a bit.’

‘You have a nephew,’ said Wesam, leaning towards me. ‘How old is he, what’s his name, do you look after him often?’

‘He’s five and he’s name is Light, and I do look after him sometimes when my sister has to work weekends.’

‘He’s name is Light, that pretty unique, and that’s nice of you to look after him.’

I always feel awkward when people say things like that. I was doing something that felt right not what felt nice. Then it occurred to me, this is something I should really explain. Especially if he was trying to date this person.

‘Well… err…,’ I said, ‘It’s a little more than me being nice. Light’s dad was killed the night he was born.’

‘Oh my god I’m so sorry,’ said Wesam, sounding apologetic.

Before I could continue the waitress had come with our drinks, I waited till she was gone before I continued.

‘Yeah, it was quite bad for a while,’ I said, ‘Then my mum got sick and now she lives in a home, so I’m the only one that can help out, as my other sister lives in Italy.’

I watched Wesam’s face, it was important to see his reaction towards what I had just told him. I hadn’t done it to make him think woe is me, I had done it to give him a real view of what my life was like. His reaction was what a lot of people did when he told them. A look of sadness and shock.

‘I really don’t know what to say,’ admitted Wesam, ‘That seems like a lot that you deal with.’

‘It was, but now… it’s just… you know… what it is.’

‘Still, I’m glad you and your sister a coping well.’

I hadn’t noticed, but Wesam hand was on top of mine. It took me by surprise when I noticed, but it was a welcome surprise.

‘I won’t tell you more about my family because it all isn’t great. So, I have two sisters and nephew, how about you?’

‘Oh well, I have a younger sister and brother. My brother is just about to turn eighteen, and I don’t get to see him much. But I see my sister from time to time. But no nieces or nephews. Which I’m kinda sad about.’

‘How come?’ I asked.

‘I’m most likely not going to have kids,’ started Wesam, ‘So it would be nice to be there in a child’s life.’

That was a very nice thought. I then realised I was having an impact on someone’s life, more than he ever expected.

‘That’s true, but I don’t think us watching Spider-Verse for the five hundred time, is me doing much.’

‘Well at least he is getting to what something he likes,’ said Wesam.

‘I guess there is that.’

WESAM

When the food came the two of us ate and commented on how good the food was. As we ate, I thought about what Desmond had told me. I wondered if he had told me that story to gain some sympathy. I honestly didn’t think so but couldn’t be sure as he had been told worse by people. But by the look on his face as he was telling it, he was being sincere.

I also thought about my own family and realised, maybe my situation wasn’t as bad. No one in his family had died, nor was any of them in a way that they needed to live in a home. It did make me wonder what was wrong with his mum, and how Light’s father had died. I did want to know but didn’t want to ask right now. That would be a conversation for another day. So, I just enjoyed our meal.

After we paid, we left the restaurant and made our way back up the street. We were going to head to a place where Desmond could make good on his promise.

‘Do you go out much?’ I asked.

‘Only when Cassidy drags me out,’ said Desmond, ‘a lot of the time I’m at home, or watching a movie. It all depends on if I have to help with Light.’

There it was again a mention of his life, that sounded depressing but wasn’t meant to be.

‘I can’t say that I go much either. I guess I’m quite boring or don’t have a really good excuse.’

‘Nah, I just think we’re just not like most guys.’

We’re, he said we’re like we were a couple or something.

‘When’s your birthday?’ asked Desmond.

‘The sixth of January,’ I said, ‘Yours?’

‘Eight of June.’

‘Ahh I just missed it.’

We had walked through Soho to reach a place called Snog to get some froze yogurt. I kept it simple as Desmond was paying and wasn’t having any. After we had got my order, we then walked back on the street.

‘Want to go for a walk?’ I asked.

‘Sure,’ said Desmond.

The two of us walk to the bottom of the street and made their way up Shaftesbury Avenue.

‘How come you didn’t want anything?’ I asked, after a couple bites.

‘I’m not a person big on sweet things,’ said Desmond, ‘it just ruins my teeth.’

‘I guess that something we don’t have in common.’

‘Just one of many things I’m guessing.’

I couldn’t tell if he was being sarcastic or not. I suddenly wanted to know what was going through his head right now.

‘What do you mean?’

Desmond didn’t answer right away, he kept his gaze away from me.

‘I just mean we seem like very different people,’ began Desmond, ‘to me that seems like a good thing, but some people might see that as a bad thing. Maybe you do too.’

I considered what he was saying. I thought about all the people I had met over the years. How many of those I had been attracted to because we were into the same thing? Pretty much all the time. Where had they got me, single. I had never really considered the difference between the two of us since they met. Which I realised there were a few a thing that stood out in obvious differences between us.

‘I’ve not really thought about it,’ I said, ‘I’m still getting to know you, and so far, there hasn’t been something that’s been a big no for me.’

DESMOND

I was unsure what to say. The night had been good as they had talked about a lot, but I wasn’t going to lie to him. There was a lot of differences between us, which I had guessed from the first conversation we had. But now it was very clear that we were two very different people. I liked meeting people who were different from myself, but I was unsure if this was the kind of thing Wesam liked. Maybe he liked the kind of guy who went to the gym, enjoy desserts, and had a normal family life. Not to mention Wesam was a very attractive man. He was beautiful, drop dead beautiful. If their difference didn’t put him off, the realisation that I wasn’t on his level in the looks departments was going to be the death of us. There was no point trying to avoid the inevitable. I needed to be more honest with guys he liked, and its time he started.

‘Well, I don’t know,’ I said, as they had now reached Lester Square. ‘I see these guys who date guys who look them or say on profiles they are looking for guys who do XYZ. Then I think about me, and how I don’t think like that, and how I don’t do this or do that. My life is very much an older man’s life. Which won’t be for everyone. So, I’m just putting it out there.’

‘Mmm,’ said Wesam, ‘Is that what you’re thinking?’

‘Yes. It’s been nice I’ll see you around.’

‘Wait,’ said Wesam, stepping Infront of me. ‘Can I tell you something about me?’

‘Okay,’ I said, wondering what he was going to say.

‘Well, you told me about your life earlier, so hear about mine. First of all, my family doesn’t exactly approve of the life I live. They have a slight issue accepting me being gay. Which isnt the greatest, but does make me sad time to time, but I’m not alone.’

This little revelation shocked me. Wesam seemed so well adjusted for someone who seemed to be rejected from his family. This was not the kind of thing I was expecting to hear.

‘What is their issued?’ I asked.

‘They are kinda regions and what I am goes against that.’

‘When did you tell them?’

‘I’ve known since I was a teen, but I didn’t tell them to my second year of uni. Since then, I only really see them birthdays and special occasions.’

‘Don’t you miss them?’ I asked, knowing the answer. As I missed my mum.

‘Yeah sometimes,’ said Wesam, simply, ‘But you see this,’ Wesam pulled up his sleeve and showed me an ID bracelet, ‘This was the last proper gift I got from them. Since then, I get a happy birthday or Eid and that’s its.’

I wanted to ask why he was telling him all this, it was deep for a first date. But inside I knew why. He was telling me to make me realise that like him there were things there were things that made him different to other people. As heart-breaking as Wesam story was, I had also told a similar one earlier. This made us a little bit more on equal. Not that it was a competition it just gave us both a deep entry point into our lives.

‘that’s really sad, and I’m sorry,’ I said.

WESAM

Telling Desmond my family story wasn’t something I had planned to do tonight. However, when Desmond was going to leave, something inside me didn’t want him to leave. I wanted him to stay. The only thing I could think of that would have put Desmond as ease was to tell him about what was happening with my family. It was strange I would have never felt the need to expose myself on any other first date, but this one just felt different. All I knew I didn’t want Desmond to go, he was beautiful flawed and had demons, as I did. It was a great thing for them to connect over.

‘Thanks,’ I said Wesam, after a minute. ‘Can I ask, is this something big enough for us to have in common?’

‘Tragic family lives?’ asked Desmond.

‘It’s better than of us both liking football.’

‘There is that,’ said Desmond, in laugh.

‘Also, I probably should tell you this, but I think your super-hot.’

Desmond eyes opened wide, and quickly looked away. It was clear he was shocked and embarrassed, I didn’t know why, when I should be the one who is embarrassed.

‘I think you’re a lot hotter than me,’ said Desmond, after a few moments.

Now it was my turn to be embarrassed.

Desmond

After the awkwardness had settled, we had decided to head home. We got on the tube at Charing Cross then transferred to the Jubilee, as Wesam lived in Stratford, and we lived on the same line. When Canada Water came, I got up, said goodbye in a completely embarrassing way.

When I got out of the station and made my way home, I decided to call Cassidy, as I couldn’t believe what I had said.

‘Hey are you busy?’ I asked when Cassidy answered.

‘No,’ said Cassidy, ‘I’m just at Mitch and Casey’s.’

‘Well, the date went well, but I messed up the ending.’

‘How did you do that?’

‘When I was getting off the tube, for some reason I said piece out.’ I said mortified, that I had actually said these words.

‘Piece out,’ said Cassidy.

‘I know, I’m such a moron.’

‘Well, lets just hope the rest of the date was successful.’

‘It was, it was super deep which I was expecting.’

‘Hmm, that sounds good, what did you guys talk about?’

For the next twenty minutes I told Cassidy what I had happen during my date.

Wesam

Before I got home, I saw I had a several message from Saanah. She seemed so invested in this date and everything going between Desmond and me.

‘So how was it,’ said Saanah when she picked up the phone.

‘It was good,’ I said.

‘Good is good. So do you think you will see him again?’

‘I think so, I just hope that he wants too.’

‘Well, the only way you can find out, is if you ask him.’

‘I will,’ I said honestly.

‘And hey, if that one goes well, maybe you have someone to come to my wedding with.’