Treat Yo Self 2021

Dear friends,

I’ve had a problem for some time now allowing myself to get things I would like. It hasn’t always been due to me thinking I don’t deserve it; it has to do with sometimes feeling guilty about doing something I want to do or buy. However, the only times where I think this is okay, is my birthday and Christmas. Which is so sad as they are only three months apart. What am I doing with other nine months in the year? I tell you absolutely nothing. Which is why this year for the month of September I declared it Treat Yo Self month and this are what I found.

I know what I said was a loophole in my own mental state, as September is my birth month, so it was easy to justify it, but spreading it out to a month was a new idea and one I think worked rather well. I went into think I would get myself a whole leap of crap, but instead it was a more humbling experience than I thought I would be. It opened my eyes to the way I have been going about treating myself. Not just from a possession’s perspective, more of a general self abusive one.

For many, many years now I have been trying to slim down to a health weight so I can preparer my body for the family illness that may come. Since I have been doing that, I have not been allowing myself to eat correctly. It’s not on the level of my eating disorder I had a few years back. It’s more of a simpler idea, but one that isn’t great either. When I’ve been hungry, I’ve ignoring it. Not in starving kind of way, more like I’ve had breakfast lunch and dinner, and I’m going to be going to bed in hour, it’s not worth me eating something. Which was one of the simpler things I ignored during this month, if I was hungry, I’d eat no matter how many meals I had that day. Just like when I met the ladies for my birthday brunch I had to meals, because Treat Yo Self.

Breakfast One

Breakfast Two

Things just kind went on like that really, I would love to say I treated myself to a new car, new suit, or a couple new pairs of trainers. Treat Yo Self was me putting myself first for a whole month. It was me saying yes to whatever I wanted. Instead of deciding between two things I decided to have both. Which is something I will continue to go on and do from now on.

Not every single time I want something I am going to remind myself, Treat Yo Self. I am going to remember to just think about me and if I want it just to do it. Of course, bearing in mind I can afford It, it doesn’t have be all or nothing. I have been thinking about things in a very narrow scope, of you can’t have everything, which is true, but you can have some things. Which is something we all should be practicing.

Of course, as I like to think about my own psychology and where does this come from? I like to think it comes from my need to help and be helpful and selfless in most situations. However, that doesn’t always track for me, as a lot of the time I am also getting something out of it. I do feel like more of the reason comes from, that there have been constant comments at me from people around me when I do things, which I feel those comments live in my head when I plan to do something. We all know the comments, do you need to another pair of trainers? Do you need more video games? It would be nice if I could get new XYZ. It’s these kinds of comments that plagued my mind for so long and it’s time for me to get rid of them.

Happy Birthday in November

When the pandemic hit, we constantly remind to do self-care. Which I thought I was doing, but I really wasn’t. What I am going to for 2022 is each month get or do something which is just for me. Which was something I used to do. Once a month buy myself something as a monthly treat and I think it’s time I reinstated the tradition. As we all should really as we all should be able to get ourselves something to enjoy. Now it’s Christmas I am going to enjoy something that is absolutely fabulous.

Xo FabEs