Niggers In London: The Message
Dear friends,
As we have been getting into racist behaviour which has been made aware to a lot of people. I thought I would jump on the bandwagon and get my message of racism out there. In my time on this earth I have seen racism to my face, behind my back and I’ve been told to conduct myself a certain way. Let FabEs you friendly internet Nigger, explain a few things.
Let’s start off with the word ‘Nigger’ some people get offended when I use that world. However, what is not okay, is when people who are offended are people who aren’t black. You have no right to be offended by a word which has nothing to do with them. It is a word we got from slavery, and now we have turned the word to a word we use to describe ourselves, because we have changed the meaning. If you are black and you don’t like to use it fair enough, that is your choice. It inst up to nonblack people to tell me not to use it. If I want to call myself a faggot ass nigger, I can, because my two kinds of people have taken back those words.
Let’s talk about my being double oppressed. I am black and gay that is hard for two reasons. One I am looked down upon because of my race, and then in certain circumstance I’m looked down upon because of the way I was born, is a sin. Being black is hard enough, but when you add something else, a lot of people have thought adds even less value to my life, it is not easy. Like I have said numerous times there is racism within the LGBT+ community. It’s hard enough be part of another group of repressed society, but what’s worse when I try to be part of these two groups, I get knocked back. Wither it being, because of my race, I can’t or shouldn’t be a homosexual, because I am homosexual, I am not their type, since they do no blacks and Asians.
For a long time, there has been a lot of things I’ve been told I cannot do because of society. As many people know there are things, we aren’t meant to do to be a member of society, but as a black man there are things I must do, to not to be a racial stereotype. I must control my temper as an angry black man is threatening, and fearsome. One of the things I have taken to heart is the idea that black people are lazy. Where did this come from, I don’t know. All I know wherever I have worked I have tired my hardest not to be seen a lazy one. Which I would like to say that I’m the only who has felt this way, but at a couple work places I’ve known few people who have the same work ethic. Which is sad because I don’t know if any other race feels like this, but its sad black people have this mentality and they can’t take it as easy at work.
That is not to say work is an easy place to be, I have worked at places where I have been one of very few black people. Which I feel then highlights the issue more that we are few, and they are many. I also feel it’s very easy for bosses to see who is working and who isn’t. I have also been around management who have been racist towards others ethnic groups and been referred to as, not their kind of people. While I have also felt pushed out of work because of my race. Which isn’t a nice feeling for anyone. It happened not because I was a bad worker, or anything negative to do with my work. It had to with the simple fact, I wasn’t what they wanted as worker.
Some of the more blatant racism I’ve had while going around life, is the idea I have be a drug dealer. In my teens I used to dress a certain way, and people use to think me, and my friends were drug dealers. More importantly to this story, they used to point out me and my brother. Which is weird, but of course since there were white people with us, why was it the idea it had to be the black kids were the ones selling drugs? Racial profiling, isn’t it fantastic.
Moreover, the number of times I have been accosted in the streets, and people asking me if I sell weed. This one has happened so many times, I’ve lost count. However, one of the worst times is when someone said to me, I know you people do, really angered me.
the idea of dancing, multiple kids/women and a lot of other stereotypes I could go into, but I will talk about police troubles, which I am very lucky to have never been involved with. Sadly, I know what is like for niggers overseas with the police, and I don’t envy them. The general idea that black people must be criminals or second-class criminals. Which is awful idea, but it is something I can relate to so much. Since people when they see they don’t see me as a degree educated man.
The idea because of my skin I am less than a person. That I am person who is seen as less in some people’s eyes is a disgrace to the human race. It’s a sadness that people are waking up to violence happen to people of colour. When in truth we have seen years and years of abuse, it’s only now in the twenty first century we are waking up and seeking the truth. I would have hated to have grown up when my mum was younger, as I know back then racist behaviour was a lot more blatant. Whereas for me it’s a little more died down, but I am so aware of it.
For me I am aware of a lot of things I should be, I shouldn’t be aware that I am the only black person in a room, group or situation. When I am more aware of it, I feel like I standout in a group. I am even more aware if I go to any shop dressed in a hoodie and backpack, I am going to be followed around by security. But when I am dressed up in my teacher get up, no one bats an eye to my presence. They just assume that I must be working in the shop.
Sometimes I’ve been made to feel I am not black enough for some people. Which is a form of internal and external racism. I am constantly been told by people who don’t know me, say I speak posh. I take this to mean, I speak in full sentences and don’t throw slang words into every other sentence. While I’ve had people have shock on their face when we have spoken on the phone, and in person I can tell, I wasn’t the person they were expecting. I don’t know if has to do with racist or perception, but most of the time I just take it as the former.
Which makes me think back to a time when I wished I was white. Not that I was self-hating it was just a thought I had, that made me wonder if my life would be easier. The way I saw it, there wasn’t a lot of people who looked like me, that people thought were attractive. They seem to have an easier life, and there wasn’t so much of people looking at me negatively. To think that now isn’t exactly stupid, it’s something I know many non-white people have thought about. Which to me is even more terrible, we’ve got to be something else to fit in. When that something is your race, it truly says how much white privilege is a thing.
When I was younger, I used to get told things by family members that I couldn’t understand in my youth, now I’m adult, I am more aware of what they were telling me. Like the idea of feeling shame when black people cause a scene in public, that it reflects on how people see us all. Or when I would go to school and events and would be asked, how many other black kids there were. It wasn’t them being oddly specific, it was them see if things have changed. Or maybe will I be the only who will be singled out. These things I have learned to understand about the way I go about life. So much so, that a lot of this just second nature to me.
I could go on and on about certain things that happened to friends, family and me to do with race, but I’m not. I just like everyone to know as time has gone by, I have been affected by racism directly and indirectly. For me and a lot of people it’s something we are aware of, but dont comment on all the time. Of course, as an optimist I feel like things will get better it’s just a matter of when. While also I am more aware that it varies by country, town and whatever surface of area you want to measure by. I am hopeful that in a generation or two the idea of being racists won’t exist. Then I must think about in what from will it change. Will we be more prejudice again Indians, Chinese who knows? What I am aware they have also had their own set of stereotypes and prejudices they must deal with.
For me living in London has allowed me to have certain advantages over people living in some American states. It doesn’t mean my life has been smooth, it just something not a lot of people have thought about. Racism is such a trigger, that I can help but speak up about it. I feel as an educated black man, who has some sort of platform it allows me a chance to speak up about something that is so part of me I don’t even think about it anymore. There are so many different types of predigest, make sure you are checking this predigest before you speak, because discrimination is discrimination not matter how much you try to sugar coat it or justify it.
If you would like to know more about white privilege and black struggles, please read Why I'm No Longer Talking to White People About Race Reni Eddo-Lodge (https://tinyurl.com/ydd6kkh7) or send me a message and hopefully you will try to understand a bit more about our struggle.
Xo FabEs
