Sinner

Dear Friends,

I want to welcome you to season six, and to the season of SIN. As I most likely will not get to season Six hundred and sixty six. Sixty six maybe, I decided I would still have some play with the number of the beast. Why have I come to this decision to do a season full of sin, well it's got to do with what I heard. Many times I walk through Peckham, there is always someone preaching about something to do with religion. Normally I don’t pay them any mind, and decline their handouts. However, one day, I didn't have my headphones on and I heard something on the lines of, God can be yours, if you give up your sins. I thought, you know I kind of enjoy the sin and here we are.

I know some people would read that and automatically stop reading. I am not a Satanist, I am a realist. In the eyes of a lot of people, my very existence is going against God's law. I however know, life happens and I'm going to do me. In the eyes of many I am a sinner, and I thought lets have some fun with it. I mean I know I sin a lot, and I thought why not look at the Seven Deadly ones, and see how I adore these sins.

Pride

I thought I would start with this sin first, as out of the seven I think I do this one the least. As I am a person who thinks about other people first before myself. While also don’t have a lot of pride in asking for help and support. I would have said a couple of years ago I would have had issue with asking for help, now I feel a lot more comfortable doing so. As I now know I am not a person who can do everything on my own. While knowing there are people who will support me through my endeavours.

As for putting people first has become more an issue, as a lot of the time I think about how other people are going to react first. One of the ways in which I do this is, with my Mental Health. When I think about telling people I am down, or how I felt about a situation, I automatically think people are going to take it bad. When really I should be thinking about making sure I feel people how I feel.

The truth is, the only thing I truly feel proud about is my writing. When I write these posts, a lot of the time I do it without having to think too much. A lot of the things just flow right through into the keyboard. Which to some people it seems impressive or I’m showing off, but for me writing 500 to 1K words is not really a challenge when I know what I’m doing. So I must say I have a little bit of pride, but only in my art.

Greed

Am I greedy? I don't think so, but I don’t know what a lot of people call greed. In the biblical sense I am greedy because of all the stuff I collect and hoard. My collection of games, moves and books are all a product of greed. Which personally I am absolutely fine with. I like having these things, because they are what I like, and only just the other day I launch a part of my site dedicated to my greed.

I also could be consider to have greed because a lot the money I make is used just for me. However, given the current times we live in, there is not much I can do about it. Although not all my cash is just goes on video games and other things. I support my home, and give at birthday, Christmas’ and special occasions,  so I can be all too greedy. But maybe I am greedy when it comes to eating.

Gluttony

This is one my favourites. Honest, no joke the description of this is what I like to do. I think this sin and greed are so similar they overlap. I might have said this before I like to eat, and a lot of the time I like to eat what I like. If it’s fancy deserts or nice dinners. As we know, Treat yourself! Which I feel more comfortable when it comes to eating and drinking.

However, I know the times when I shouldn’t be over eating and when I should not be. Which comes from my attempts to lose weight. Since I have learned I can have some of the nicer things once in a whole and it isnt a crime. Why can’t  I have that extra slice of cake? Why can’t I have an extra serving of chicken? Which is why I love this sin. I mean we all know we’ve done this, eating a tub of B&J’s in one sitting, it falls underneath this category. As does my Christmas and Birthday bottle of Bucks Fizz. This sin is one I will gladly take.

Sloth

Ahh another sin that I have grown to love. Now this one has a lot of negative and positive connections to me. Positive, as I know when you had a busy couple of weeks and days or whatever, you need to take a day when you do nothing. Most of us save this time for Christmas holidays, but I do it a lot more frequently. The main reason behind it, is the mental health aspect. Some days it just hard to get up and out, and can; t leave bed.

While also it’s just nice to have a day when you do absolutely nothing. Which is why I find it funny the idea of resting is a bad thing. Maybe taking a day isnt bad, but taking multiple days is the sin. I dont know. One thing I do know, it’s not being lazy to take a couple days for self to do nothing. I personally believe it is okay, some might disagree, but you know I’m happy with this sin. Because sometimes you do so much, you need to forget everything you do. If that’s the sin and its wrong, then I don’t want to be right.

Envy

Ahh envy this is one of those sins that I do all the time and I don’t feel bad about. There are a lot of things someone could be envious about. It couple be, possessions, status and achievements. I am the kind of person who is envious of a lot of people and a lot of people dont realise it. Last season I wrote how I was jealous of a lot of people, and that post still stands (and is here).

What am jealous about? Quietly frequently these days I am jealous of all the people who get to live a normal life. Something I feel like I will never have. I’m not envious in the life they have and I want it. I am envious of the fact that a lot people don’t have to rank their day, or have to deeply think why they’re not sleeping. That’s mostly what I’m envious of. I feel like this one of the very few sins, where is not as negative as the others. I feel it’s one of those things that feels like a human feeling.

Wrath

Now this is a sin I really didn't like for the longest time. I used to hate getting angry, because I felt like it made me feel like I was being a bad person. Now I realise where that idea comes from. Which makes no sense as anger is a human emotion. While also this idea of being perfect means you never get angry, which again is dumb.

More recently I have been angry at a lot of things. A lot of the time I don't even know why. A lot of the time I think it’s me suppressing my anger, and it’s finally boiling over. I don’t know, but now I feel like being angry is fine, so long as I think about where this anger has come from. Either from other people, situations or just life being shitty. Whatever it is, anger is just something we need in our lives. Just so long as it is causing no one any harm. It was a sin I was worried about, now it’s just something I accept.

Lust

Finally we have the fun sin. The one sin that most of us are more than guilty of. Where do I start with this one? I mean we all know what it is, what it means. We all done it, looking at the person at the party, taken a little peek at some porno. Practised some self-love. Had sex with a stranger, it’s all lust. The one sin that my people are constantly accused of. While all that sex we have that doesnt get a baby is also a sin. Lovely.

I call this the fun sin, as like most people in modern times we have learned that sexuality plays a huge part of our society now. I mean it’s hard to get away from sex these days. I mean when I really think about it, lust has been pretty much baked into modern society. Don’t believe me? How many shows you watch have sex scene? How often is there a person in little no clothes for a scene in a movie or TV show? Or when was the last time you sent a nude pic? These are all things we accept.

I’m not above it, when I tell people I write blogs about sex, it suddenly gets peoples excited. Only if they knew I dont write about it too often. However, I do write my own erotica, so maybe I’m not helping. Also this season being about sin means, I should right about a bit more sex. I dont care, because this something I do is that’s a sin regardless. I mean sex with a man is a sin, so I might enjoy the whole shebang.

There you have it, there are the sin and why I think I will live with my sins. However, just because I am down with these sins, it doesnt mean that I lack the virtues that go opposite with them. It’s just a shame when you really think about it, being a person and having feelings and emotions is a sin. If that statement happens to be true, then maybe we’re all Sinners. See you in hell.

Xo FabEs