Say Something

Dear Friends,

As time slowly goes past us, I keep wondering, why are people keeping quiet? I know how that could seem, that people are shy and don’t like to speak out. However, what I've noticed is that people don't say much around me, even if they like me, which is weird. 

Now I am mostly talking with guys of course. It has not been lost to me, a lot of guys seem to think I am attractive for many different reasons. However, getting people to tell me in a certain amount of words, is hard apparently. I don’t know why, I can guess and speculate. I mean, it’s what I do. I just would like some answers, especially when it could lead to something good.

Sometimes I think about my friends, and how they meet people all the time. I wonder if these people are more outgoing than me? Maybe I don’t know, but I am not comparing myself to them (for a change), I am just wondering how it goes. Sometimes I do wonder if they are the aggressor in a lot of these situations, and if this is how they get somewhere. I think, maybe it’s time for me to be like that, but the thing is I am. 

I am constantly putting myself out there, saying “hey”, asking questions. Trying to get out most of my charming personality, and as friendly as I possibly can; still nothing. I mean I had a guy I dated, now I’m friend’s say, I am the more dominant between the two of us. Which at first I was a little offended by, now I kind of see his point. When I want things to happen, I make things happen. It’s just a shame when it comes to other men… I just can’t. 

When I think about a regular scenario, I think about how most times people just tell me they’re, “horny”. I think, “what am I meant to do with that?” The truth is, I don't know. Genuinely what is the come back to that? When I do get talking someone one nice and decent, there is always something there. That little thing, that hang up. I don’t know what they they are thinking. Do they just see this as an internet chat? Or do they see these as leading somewhere, but there is no real discussion about it, till I bring it up. Which brings me to my next point, ghosting. 

I have no issue with people not liking me. This isn’t 20 years ago when I was worried about everything. I know how the world works. Some people like you, and some don’t. Now I am just thinking, why do people feel the need to answer a direct question? I know it could be, what I am asking is too personal. If I am asking to meet you, and you say nothing then there is an issue. It’s either you didn’t expect me to ask, or too afraid to disappoint me. Which is why, I think people take the easy way out, and say nothing. 

To me saying nothing isn’t the easy way out, it’s the cowards way. Because simply saying no, makes life a lot easier for a lot of people. I mean I wouldn’t be writing a whole post about people not talking to me. Or in the case of the severely insecure, analysing every little thing, to figure out where things have gone wrong. All I know is, but saying nothing doesn't make all your problems go away. Similarly, nor does assuming things about people.

This is something that happens too often to me also. People assume things about me; based on my appearance, on choice or picture. Hell, people make assumptions because of my race. In mine and many others' defence, we are not mind riders. Asking someone something to get clarification is a good thing. It allows us all to know where we stand, and hopefully fill in some of the missing information. While also, helping a person not build this image in their head. An image that someone can’t help but not live up to. Which is why it’s very important people say something, to help clear up all these misconceptions. 

I don’t know, maybe it’s me. Maybe it’s a lot of us, but I feel like there is a point to where we are getting to a point where you need to be able to express things to make things clear. I feel as time goes by communication may get easier, but it's getting hard for people to express it. Which is why it sadness me when people say things like, “I felt this at this time, and didn’t tell you.” If you did tell me then, then it would have been something I knew and reacted to at the time. Not something that got in the way of our, what could have been. But whatever will be, will be, I guess. 

If you are thinking, do I speak my thoughts and feelings enough? If you question it you properly don’t. Which is fine, just change that mindset. Not with everyone's body of course, but slowly over time. Allow ourselves to speak the truth. The best way I can put it, try not to be on all the time. Which I do most of the time, and people think I am rude, or have special needs (not my current ones). When really I’m just trying to be real, and cut the BS. Just remember to say something when it needs to be said, then we are all good. 

Xo FabEs