REALxEYEZ What's Inside

Dear Friends,

I think a lot of us want to write off this year a huge waste of time, or a dark age we don’t want to think about. However good that does sound there is something I have noticed, and few us have now realised. This year has taught us a few lessons about life, and better yet ourselves.

I was isolating myself from people and should open up more.

When I think about things, I like to think of things as test. A test of; faith, determination, devotion or character. To say this year has been a test of all these things for me, and for many people like me. It has given us a lot of time to realise what we are doing with ourselves. I like to think a lot of us have realised the bad things we have been doing, and allowed ourselves to put down these vices, and move towards being a more positive being. Of course, not everyone is going to feel this, but if some of us are willing to change for the better, it’s always a good thing.

That I'll put up with any amount of unnecessary crap from men

I feel like I have had a leg up in this department, due to my ongoing therapy during the year, it has allowed me to learn quite a lot of about myself. Which is interesting for me to learn, as many expect therapy is being told about all these things, when in truth it’s all about the self-discovery of why we do these things and making the choice to change them.

That I am not perfect, and I am ok with that

One of the things I have realised this year is, I do know how to make a correct decision. As much as that does sound somewhat pig headed, but for me I had a huge problem of second guessing myself. What I have realised is, even in the worst of situations I know I have made the correct decision. If things don’t turn out the way I expected, or take a sudden turn for the worst, I know I can handle it no matter what the situation maybe.

I’ve learned I am capable of dealing with big changes and not completely losing myself in the process.

Another thing is the idea I am worth more than what I give myself credit for. A lot of the time I thought my ideas or opinions wasn’t worth anyone’s time. What I have learned, a lot of people think their ideas are stupid or have very little value. This is so untrue, and sometimes some people might regard your thoughts as inconsequential to them, but you and I can’t let those people shut you up for the rest of your life. If they don’t value you thoughts or voice then don’t give them the time of day.

I’ve learned who I am, I think

Which is something else I have relearned this year, is the people who you keep around you. As we all were locked up and worrying about matters that were all everyone’s mind, there were a lot of people who didn’t see the point of supporting others. This happened in a lot of different ways. Wither it was not checking on people who might be going through a though time, giving finical support, support in general or even through worldwide political matters #BLM. Which has made realised I don’t need people like that in my life. Which is why I feel a lot of us have realised who are the people who are there for us and give a shit, and the ones who don’t.

Resilience, been able to adapt to change

This year I reached out to a lot of people; through old contacts, and seeing people I knew on social media, and some where receptive and some wasn’t. The ones who weren’t I decided to cut my losses, and the ones who weren’t I kept conversations going, but over time it all lead to the same thing, how many chances can you give a person before you call it a day? I learned some people deserve a second chance and some people don’t, but it’s up to me to make that decision.

That I'll put up with any amount of unnecessary crap from men

I have learned things that aren’t always life defining, some things I have learned have been small and just matter to me. Like I learned I do enjoy a few of my hobbies which I had neglected for so long. While also learning I don’t have to do something if I really don’t want to, if the only person I am going to disappoint is myself. I think a big one I have realised is, occasionally, I need to be okay with spending time or money on myself, and not worry about looking bad in other people’s eyes because of it. Why did I need to learn this? I constantly felt like I wasn’t doing a lot with myself that was helpful, when in truth I am doing so much, I need to okay with taking a break and just enjoy what I want.

Hopefully I’ve learned to be more aware of what I need

As much as this year a has cost me, it has given me a lot of things that have enriched my mind and life. I’m not arrogant enough to say there is nothing else left for me to learn about myself or others. I know there is a huge of part of me who is still out for self-discovery. In a year I can sit back a look back at the things I haven’t done, and the things I did do and realize a change in myself or my attitude. I know a lot of you will not have had this revelation on your own, but I do hope after reading this you will realised a few things about yourself, more than you realised. Maybe you are more charitable than you noticed, you have more compassion, you’ve been too greedy, too focused on gaining, too dull, not having enough fun, or just not giving yourself a break. Whatever it is, I hope you make a change for the better. Maybe next year you might notice even more things about yourself.

Xo FabEs