Real

Dear Friends,  

I hoped and wished I wouldn’t have to speak about the ongoing social issue, but it seems like I must. Wither that be for peace of mind, or so we can real for a moment. What I have to say has nothing to do with me worried about myself and being ill. What I have been thinking about is the real impact it is currently having on my life, and what it means for me.  

Right now, I am not worried about staying healthy. If I were to catch something I will deal with when that time comes. I am not afraid of dying, I am just more worried about the people who I care about, which is the major issue with me. The person I am more worried about is my mum, as she isn't in too good health, and if she was to get the virus, I am truly afraid of what might happen.  

I am worried about what might happen with her, and what might happen to me at the same time. It is something scary and something I don’t dare think about. But as I keep looking at the numbers and what is going in world it’s a thought that I can’t keep out of my head. Same goes for anyone else I know, who may have a serious health issue.  

As for me more personally this whole situation isn’t my idea of a good time. It will disturb my current study in more ways than I could have ever foreseen. The idea of having to be a home for seven days alone isn't exactly a walk in the park. I know for some it would be a nice to do something different than work, but if you remember I want to be working. Not to mention the idea being alone isn’t good for my mental health.  

This brings me to what is causing me my issues currently is the idea of my mental health getting out of control. I would have thought that my OCD would be the main catalyst. As I know everything needs to clean, but that isn't what is affecting. It’s the idea of my stability going way that is causing me mental distress. It’s this idea of that we must go into a state of emergency, and I can’t see no one. I can’t see medical professionals. All I can do is be trapped behind four walls and descend into a sense of madness I've recently recovered from. 

Lastly, I must talk about the hoarding fiasco. This is affecting me and so many people like me, because we can’t even get the essentials because everyone is buying for a family for ten. This annoys me because, even at this time of unknown I can’t have comforts delights. Even if I want to try my hand at trying some of my more experimental bakes, I couldn’t because there isn't any flour on the shelves!  

I must make a plan to help me get over the real threat that is ahead of us. One; to stay off socials, because I think too many people are talking about it. Which yes, I know is ironic as I most likely relying on socials to get this out. I am also going to make an action of plan of things I can do with my time. I have a lot reading which I need to catch up on. I will also make sure that everyone that I love and care about is being safe, whatever that means. Friends, lets stand together and help everyone who needs it to get thought this time, wither it be physical or emotional support.  

XO FabEs