Opposite Of Adults
Dear Friends,
Let me ask you a serious question, did you think this is what adult life was going to be? Did you think, when you were little, and saying what we wanted to be when were older, did you ever think adult life kinda sucks, a lot of the time? No, just me? well sometimes I do. Sometimes I think I am not adulting right, and I sometimes I wonder if that is a bad thing.
One the trends I’ve seen on TikTok, are videos going around to the over thirties, asking are we doing this right? Like, is this what life is, are we doing okay. Whenever I see these videos I answer the questions, am I doing alright, am I being an adult. A lot of the time I think yes to a degree; as I don’t have all responsibility like some people do, or some don’t think I’m doing as much as some others.
I should really start with, what is an adult? We think an adult is someone over the age of 18. If that’s all the criteria we need then yes I am definitely an adult. However, it wasn’t always this way, it used to be 21. Even so, I’m definitely an adult in the legal sense. Then question is what does it mean to be an adult? Is it a state of mind, or is when you finically independent? Or is could be a time when you not living with you parents any more. It’s a lot to consider. I mean I should think of myself as an adult as I am almost 35 years old. I mean I should right? I’ve lived long enough and had a lot experiences to make me understand the world. I have had several jobs, looked after kids, and can drive (not legally yet) a vehicle. I have also left compulsory education, 16 years ago, but sometimes I do feel like I have imposter syndrome when I compare myself to others.
I’m doing it again, comparing myself to other people. But it is one of those comparisons I need to make. Not to make myself feel bad, but to look and see how the world has changed. The main people I compare myself to is the adults I have known my whole life. As many of which I’ve only know for a certain point in time, so I don’t know what they were like when they were younger. But I knew most them when they were my current age, and a lot of them had kids and were married. Steady jobs, mortgages and the like. Whereas, I don’t have any of that, but to me it doesn’t minimise me being a successful adult person.
Then I think about how I compare to some friends. Well the things is, a lot of my friends are in a similar situation. It’s only one or two that are in the very adult stages of life. As most of my friends are un married, and only one or two have kids. I think the only thing a lot of us have going on is work. We are all people who have jobs, that require a certain amount of skills. Which is great, I’m happy for everyone. While some of my friends have realised some of the things they have been dreaming about, isn’t going to happen. Which is saddening to hear in some cases, while it sounds all too familiar to me.
When I think about my work, it does a lot of the time make me feel like I am adult. I mean how could you not, working around people who are less than half your age and feel like you’re doing things right. I have to constantly tell people off, and be the voice of authority, when I’m dealing with the students. Then sometimes when I’m dealing with superiors I feel like this is alright. Then again in my profession there are a lot of age ranges of people who a not too long into teaching. Then sometimes I feel like I have a level of maturity over them, even thought they might be older. With the kids though I do feel like I’m adult, a I have to tell them things, and they don’t get a lot my references. Or never heard of something that are common knowledge. Then I have to remind myself, its only common knowledge for people my generation or older.
Then I when I think about the things I do, I think they are very middle of the road. Some it seems real adult like drinking, going out and having sweets before dinner. Then there is some stuff I do like, video games, toys, and comic books that feels very familiar to me. Like some that stuff is me still being a young person. I mean I wrote how I still have an adult interest in Power Rangers, which isn’t odd, as it is 30 years old this year. When I find out there are some many people like me around. I mean finding out 1 quarter of toys sales are done by adults was interesting. But it does make me question are we adulting right?
Sometimes I do feel like time have changed. The way we see an adult is different. I mean used to think that 40 is old. When we know 40 is about middle age as life expectancy is going up. So why can the way we adult change? We say things change all the time, and sometimes we’re so used to be seeing things a certain way, we can’t help but feel like an imposter. I mean why can I be an adult who reads comic books, plays video games and watches Bluey? Why does something deep in my core feel like I shouldn’t be doing it? Why do I feel like I should be watching adult movies (not like that) and reading classical text? Honestly, I don’t know.
What I am going to do, is just live my life the way I want. Sometimes I feel like I’m not adult, It makes me wonder does everyone feel like that? I mean there is not switch when you have to be an adult. I know some people say a traumatic even can make them feel that way. I’ve had plenty of those, but it doesn’t stop me thinking I’m not grown every once in a while. Then I’ve to remind myself, on a daily basis I am responsible for younger people learning, who look to me for guidance and that’s very adult. And with the amount of people telling me, “they couldn’t do it” it makes me feel less like an impostor. Then I’ve also got to remember I am doing the very adult thing of making sure the bills get paid, taking responsibility for my actions, and making sure my Mum is okay. So maybe I shouldn’t be too worried about my life.
After reading this, do you think you’re adulting wrong? Or have I made you realise that you’re more an adult than you think? I don’t think we have to give up our childhood pursuits. I’m just glad some of those pursuit I have younger people around me also have some of the same. When I’m around them I can pretend to be grown up. If you excuses me, I’m going to go find a swing set.
XO FabEs
