Mr Nice Guy
Dear friends,
Do you think you’re nice? Or do people tell you you’re nice? I do all the time. After a while I just kind of expected it. As a lot of the time I didn’t realise what I was doing was being nice. I just thought that I was just being a decent human being. Which makes me realise the state of humanity. Just doing something as simple as holding something when asked, is considered nice. The question then becomes, why do I have such an issue with it?
What does it mean to be nice? Well to me there are so many things to be nice; you can be friendly, thoughtful, helpful and considerate. These are things I think about all the time. I sometimes that I don’t think I’m nice to strangers, due to the social anxiety of it all. However, with the people I know and have to work with, I can’t help but be all these things. Which a lot of the time I don’t really have to think about. I just say hello, goodbye to people. I help them with doors and issues they might be having. I think about what they might need help with. While at the same time considerate of everyone’s feelings, and how they might react to something. I think a lot of this comes down to morals taught to me, treat others how you would like to be treated. I guess that just makes me nice.
Like I say, just being me is me being a nice person. Mostly because I have just been brought up that way. What’s the sad thing is, no matter how much the human populous disgusts me and annoys me, I still keep trying and be nice. I keep thinking about all the people I have known, and some the shitty things they’ve done to me. I’ve thought about doing what they’ve done to people, but then I think about how it just made me feel, and I just can’t do it. I just can’t ignore people’s messages, pretend not to know them in public, or forget we’ve slept together. I just can’t be not nice to people who don’t even deserve it. Even when I have been evil, it just eats away at me.
One of the things I have been thinking about, is it bad just being nice all the time? Sometimes I think people think it just makes me “soft” or somewhat of a “pushover”. I just see being nice as no effort at all. I think for me, it would take more effort to just be a dick. I think so people think that saying no, is not being nice. However, when I think about it, its nicer to be direct. If you are asked to do something and can’t do it, just say no. That is something I’ve learned thought therapy. You don’t owe anyone an excuse. If you can’t do something, just say no, and leave it there. I know it might hurt some people’s feelings, but if you can’t work it around to something that would work go for you. It’s just nicer.
I feel like I have a lot of optimism about the human experience. I like to think that if someone has something nice or good happen to them, they are more likely to do something nice to other people. Which is why when earlier in the year when I lost my phone, I was happy for the person to hand it in. It was just one nice act that saved me thousands of pounds. Which is why when I tell this story to people, I’ve told them please do the same. It’s a little gesture that makes people think that there is still some hope left for the human race. Which is why I wouldn’t think about taking anything I find in pubic.
A lot of people react weirdly to my gestures. Some people don’t really know how to react. Some people who have met me in the last year, usually ask me why did you do that? Sometimes I just say, I thought about it. Like why did you do me some copies? Because I was here, and I knew you would need them. Or knew there was issues with the printer. While some people who’ve known me for ages still ask me why? While some people seem to think I want something in return. Just like gifts, I do it as a thank you, I don’t expect anything back. I’m just doing it to thank you for being a friend. I’m not doing it just to reciprocate.
I am going to be continue to be the nice guy. I know when I go about meeting guys they find me weird. But as this season is about it’s me just being me. The true me is just nice, it’s just my nature. However, if you do piss me off, I may not get so nice. But genuinely I just me and I and the nice guy, 90% of the time.
Xo FabEs
