the Coolest
Dear friends,
Are you cool? What does it even mean anymore? As I write this it has gotten me wondering what is cool now a days. I am now 35 years old and what once was cool, isn’t so much anymore. Now am I an adult am I still trying to chase something; in big scheme of things it isn’t that big of a deal anymore? When the truth is, I know I have never been cool, but I have been a victim of trying to chase it, just in a attempt to try and fit in.
I like to tell the kids, I haven’t been cool since 2006. Which I think is an accurate description of what my life was like. That brief period when I was one of the people who you wanted to be around. Where I was invited to do things, and where everyone knew who I was. That brief moment, and those couple months were good. Then it was over, and the thing was I never really tried and get it back again, but I realised something, I am not cool.
I feel like I have never been cool. Even when a lot of my interests came into pop culture. I have always been into, video games, books, and knowledge. Things that have never been really seen as a popular. I just carried on being me, as I thought then and as I do now, it’s what I like. If other people think it’s cool then it’s cool, I’m not trying to prove myself to anyone else. It like to think of myself a the diagram below. Pick any word from the diagram and I’m cool with it.
Some of you might be wondering, why am I saying all of this? Well it has come to attention, that even though I feel like I have left all these ideologies behind. I still see it, every day. Whenever I go to work, I am still seeing the same of things repeating themselves. The sad thing is, I am not only seeing it in the kids. I see among the adults too. People trying to be popular, well liked and admired. I’ve been thinking to myself, am I trying to do the same? When truly I don’t think I am. I am just trying to do my job, but not be unfriendly about it. Which I think feeds more into the way our society works.
Let’s take it back to the kids for a moment, I still see the cliques of yesterday. The ones who think that being cool and being an idiot, is going to get them somewhere. When I look at some of them I can see myself within them, but I feel like there is a different between then and now. A lot of people are just being who they are, and enjoying their friendship groups. However, with now elevated knowledge, I can see within these groups, I can see who is the popular one. Which is always nice to see. It’s almost like what it’s cool, is defined by each group, rather than what the populous says is cool.
When I think about my school, I knew I wasn’t cool, but I thought I could be. If I could do something or be something that was bigger than myself. Of course none of that worked out. I do wonder what would have happened to me if it did. Would I have peaked at that time? Would I still trying to chase the highest highs? I will never know, but I like to think because I didn’t, it allowed me to gain some perspective. I am loser, (now aww please) because I have always been. In which, it has allowed me to know I want better for myself, and do better. I will do that, no matter how much it costs me. That the upside to being so low on the totem pole, you can only go up.
Which makes me think about work. Do I try to be cool there? Hells no! I try to make myself stand out, and just be the weird person I am. I don’t try to be the cool teacher, the one that is down with the kids, speak like them. I am just FabEs. The total randomness you get on this site, boiled down to about a small fraction. With little hints of the crazy person I am. Is it cool? Maybe not. However, with a few of the students they recognise something in the crazy, and to they get me a little more. I don’t even think I am trying to be cool for them, I am just being me. Random me.
When it comes to the people I work with, I really don’t try to gain favour with anyone. Mainly because I am so socially awkward with some people, I never know what to say. Or with some I feel like the only thing we’ve got to talk about is the work. Which is a shame, but every now and then, sometimes I do a thing, or have a thing that makes a talking point, then I can just be me.
In terms of trying to be popular one, I don’t think it’s ever gone to happen. Mainly because it’s a lot of work. Some people who have read this might think, “I’ve always thought you were cool” if you do think that thank you. I just don’t think about that about myself. It’s like what Marge said in the Simpsons, ‘How do you know what’s cool?” the thing is you just know. I know am not cool. To some of the gamers, because I don’t join in in the new releases, or the online gaming spare. I am not cool among the book people, as I read stuff that was popular years ago. With the movie crowd I am too mainstream to be popular. It is what it is. I am definitely not cool with the gays, as I’m not a whore.
Friends do tell me if you think you are cool, or if you do still try and chase the cool. I’d like to know where people think they are cool. As I know I am not and that is fine by me. Do you think trying to be cool is too hard, or does it put it put you in a box? Let me know. As I am going to be the nerd, dork geek I am.
Xo FabEs
