Miss Me
Dear Friends,
As I have been going through this little moment of self-growth, I have been realising a lot about the people around me. One of the things I noticed, when we were in a very bad situation a year ago, I got into talking to a lot of people. People I knew years ago, or people numbers I happened to come across when getting back into an old phone. What I've noticed is, some people really aren’t worth my time.
I’d like to say all these people are people I haven't met before, a few of them I have met, and met more than once. Yet some of the people decided to ignore my messages, or message me when they have time to talk to me. Which in the past I wouldn't have gotten to upset about? However, now I have been thinking about it does a little bit. It does because saying hi isn't too hard to do. I know we are all busy but ignoring someone is just plain rude. I know we live in a society where ghosting is becoming more acceptable, but to me it’s not. But as everyone likes to say, there loss. I’d like to think in a lot of ways that may be true, but it doesn't feel like it at the time.
Even with these little people, getting on my nerves I have been thinking about some other people. I have been thinking about my friends, and some of the friends who have decided to distance themselves from me. Now I’m not going to put all the blame on me, but it could be something I’ve said, or did. It could have been something that happened once, or it could be something constantly that makes them want to distance themselves from me. The thing is, I will never know what it is, and I'm not going to worry about it anymore.
The reason why is simple. With some I have messaged them hoping to engage in a nice conversation, I haven’t been fortunate to have these conversations. There have been a lot of people talking about themselves, and even asking me how I am doing. Or sometimes when I do say how I am doing, and it could be considered negative, there wasn’t any follow up. Or acknowledgement of what I've said. It has just been people going about their day and not really caring about how I am doing.
Now you might be reading this and thinking, could he be talking about me? If you think I could be you, either look back or think back to the last conversation we had. Does it sound like what I just described? Then maybe I will talk about you. Or if you are not sure, pause here and send me a message to see how I’m doing, then you know it's not you.
What I know from teaching the kids, these are toxic people, and I shouldn't be around them. As I am some who practice what he preaches, I am going to do so. They will be a lot of people who I will stop talking too. I will delete their number, properly stop following them on social media. Just do these little things so I can focus my attention of the people who care about my wellbeing, and I care about there's. I would love to say this is going to be a small number, but if it was, I don't think I would be talking about it so publicly. It’s quite a lot of people. Even if some of these people might be friends, I was close with once, or acquaintances I have met through work or education. It is time for me to stop wasting my time, and more importantly stop holding out hope they will change.
Since I am a sentimental fool, I would like to hope these people who I am going to say goodbye to will miss me. I would love for them one day to wake up and realise FabEs isn’t around anymore. No more randomness, no more strangeness, just a normal and mundane life. But who am I kidding, some people won't even notice, and if they do, they won’t even care? What I will say is, I decided to leave because you did. It isn't all me, it has to do with two people. I'm not the kind of person who can just enjoy a one-way kind of friendship. I know I need friends, people to talk to and hang out with, but I do need it that bad.
If you are reading this and you hope you'll get the chop, now that I have given you the tools you know what to do. Or if you have the confidence to talk to me, and see if it can be worked out, and if it can’t so be it. I just hope you miss me a little.
Xo FabEs
