Creep

Dear friends,

One of the things I have learned to accept is the fact that too many are interested in attached men. Before it never used to be a problem. I used to enjoy it, nowadays I don't. Maybe because I have grown out of the idealisation, or maybe it could be that I just feel like it’s morally wrong. All I know I don’t like guys who are on the DL, and I believe me I’ve had a few.

Let's get the obvious out of the way. A lot of guys on the apps and such are in open relationships, or so they claim. I know I should give them the benefit of the doubt, but sometimes I am never too sure. When people are listed as single, or have no relationship status, that's when I get a major red flag. Or the ones who talk to me like normal and I think, oh this could be something. Then suddenly it’s, “can you accom, cos I have a bf.” When this happens I think to myself, why wasn’t this borough up sooner. Well there’s a good reason for that.

There are people like me on the net who don't want anything to do with people in relationships. The main reason being, they don't want to get in between what could be a very unfortunate situation. You know, fall for a person you can’t have. Which is the main reason why I credit myself for not willing to participate in this kind of thing. I would like to have the option to keep a person around for a long time; if I really like them. Not just have them have down for booty calls and the like. Or It could be like a previous situation I've had where the person has lied, and it has ended badly. Either way it is a messy business, best to stay away.

I would be remiss if I didn't talk about the straight married man. Or his close cousin, the man with a long term gf and kids. These types of people I have had the fortune and misfortune of meeting. Like I said in the past I used to be into it, like many people I know. It was this horny fantasy of the person this other person is choosing to have sex with you. Or in some other kinkier standards, the person they fucked before going home to fuck the other person. All I can say is I've grown out of this. Mainly because in reality that is a shitty thing to do to a person. Which is why I would hate for that to happen to me or someone I know. Of course there is a health reason too.

Imagine having sex with this one guy, who is also having sex with his gf, who is also cheating; while the same guy could have had sex with x amount of different people. It is one of those long diagrams I don’t really want to go into. Not to mention the rise in bareback sex. It could lead to something so scandalous, I don't dare mention.

Now something I’ve heard from people who are married, they don't see sleeping with a man as cheating; because you know it's a man. Which I like to think of as people just doing mental gymnastics to justify their extracurricular activities. When we all know cheating is cheating, if it's with a man, woman or other. We’re not kids, who like to cheat to get a head. Just because they wouldn't expect it to be a man, doesn't make it less of a cheat.

Of course, a lot of the time I love having conversations with these men, and like to have a deep meaningful conversation about their actions. One of the most common and arrogant things to come up is, she doesn’t suspect. Which is one the dumbest things people could ever say. Unless you're married to a moron, they suspect something. Maybe not what, but they know something is up. Whether that be sexual or not. They would notice something. Unless there really isn’t anything between you anymore they know something. There is a dramatic difference between not knowing and not caring.

I think for me in the bigger scheme of things, is the fact these people feel like they have to cheat. When so many of these guys claim to be bisexual. I’ve spoken to so many men in their later stages of life, and they say; I am bi, but much more interested in guys now. I don't think I need to explain that. What also gets me is the amount of men who said their partners don’t know their bi. The reason why they say this is, it would be a big thing and she wouldn’t like it. That might be so, but I’m just saying, she/they might open a lot of other interests. I don't know I’m not a straight woman. However, as gay man, I can say if my bf or long term partner said they were into women, I would get behind that. I mean why not? Not like I wasn't curious at some point or another. But I guess that just me,

All I can say about the matter is that there is a lot of glorification of having sex with people on the DL. Too many expect I’m on it (Racist!) For me this is something I don’t want to be a part of any more. Call me selfish (and probably am), I like to know I have some attention for as long as me and them are interested. As I say I will never say never, not because like life, you never know when something might come. All I do know, when someone is in an open relationship or the DL messages I’m not interested. No matter how hot the person may be.

Let me know, do you enjoy being on the DL? Or have you been one of those people who have done it? Let me know, as there still so much more to discuss.

Xo FabEs