Complicated

Dear Friends,

There are a lot of things we take for granted, and a lot of the stuff we forget now we have grown up. since I am working in a school, there are lot things I have realised that seemed so easy when we were younger, but now things are just so complicated.

Where do I begin, I guess I should start with being older? When we were younger, we wated to stop being a child, and stop getting treated like one. Now when we’re older now we understand the mundane life of being an adult. A lot of people think it’s getting up when you want, and not having someone telling you what to do. Boy how wrong that is. We’ve got to get up and go somewhere, then get told what do at work. The only difference between being younger and older, now we understand the why.

When I look the kids, every day I think back to the dreams I used to have when I was a teen. I wanted to be a writer and live in the US, and now time has gone by has those thoughts changed. I now understand the complications of living abroad and the backwards way the country is run. However, I still haven’t given up hope of me being a writer. I do this every week; I write my stories and I still dazzle the kids with the things I write. Where I’m standing, I’m not doing too bad.

I think ironically the only thing that hasn’t gotten complicated as I’ve gotten older is my sexuality. I now know who I am, and I am okay with it. I know there will be people who won’t be okay with who am I. That obstacle isn’t mine to deal with, its other peoples. I am a regular person like everyone else and the only difference is, who I find sexuality attractive.

However, it doesn’t mean dating has gotten any less complicated since I was a teenager. Since at that young age I wasn’t sure how I would go about finding people like me. Then there was a lot of questions about, do gay guys date? Of course, I found my own way on how to deal with the dating scene, but it still gets more difficult.

One of the things I’ve noticed over the course of my life is breaking up with someone isnt as easy as it seems. When we were younger, we wrote people off because we broke up with them. Now as an adult it is hard to walk away from the people you cared about. I know some people find it easy, but for me when I think about things it’s a mess. It’s a mess of feelings, as mess of prospects and mess of judgement.

Which is why when I tell people a lot of the people who I have dated I’m still friends with, is weird to a lot of people. It’s a very complex situation which works for me, and some people can not understand. The process of all this might seem complicated, but to me it just works. There are a lot of things that come with moving on in your life, but it doesn’t mean you always just cut people out of your life. It just means you need to find a new way to enjoy these people. Of course, this doesn’t always work, as lot of people decide to be an ass hole. Which is why it can’t work.

I know I’m not the only person who have felt the same way. With exes there usually a massive difficulty that sometimes catches you off guard. Wither that is them resurfacing after years of silence, or maybe two of them might be dating or getting married to each other. The only thing is, when I was younger I never though any of this would have happened. It was simple to understand when you broke up with someone, you never see them again, but thanks to social media that can never be the case. What a time we live in.

Are you like me and wish for the days of ignorance bliss? I sure as hell do, but life isnt that fair. Life has a way of making things super complicated, and sometimes making these difficulties unavoidable. What’s funny, more like a cruel joke, we though when were teens are life was super stressful and complex. Now we know better, it was hard and it’s only just going to get so much harder.

Xo FabEs