Best Friend

Dear friends,

About two years ago I wrote a post about having a companion, and what I noticed after writing, those companions were my best friend at one time or another. It doesn’t exactly mean now I see them as dead meat. not all of them I still see or speak too, but there are ones I’m still in contact with. I've realised something I thought was so cliché I must write about it. 

Weddings on TV, they always say they are marrying their best friends, and now I get how that could be. I have realised my boyfriends through no fault of my own has become my best friend and I didn’t even realise it till some time.

I feel this was a great eye-opening moment for me as a person. It allowed me to get some perspective about relationships and get some personal growth (that’s always great). It allowed me to see how when you are in a relationship how you come to rely on one person to be there for you. To hear about your day, talk through your annoyances, and someone to pal around with. Which is why I say it was always a personal growth moment, because I realised while all this was happening, I was relying less on my friends to talk about some of these issues. Which I think now I can see how that might have seemed weird to some.

Moreover, I have realised this isn't something that all couples considered themselves to be. There are numerous reasons, but a few of the ones that stick out are ones that don’t feel like there are friends. They don’t talk about everything or feel like it is too much of a bother. When I think about this and a lot of the couples have gone past me, I feel like a lot of the one who have gone the distance don’t ignore this. 

When I was researching this post, it was shocking when a lot of people were telling me, no I don't think so. What shocked me were couples who had been together quite some time and living together. I know romance isn't an exact science, but I would like to think they would go hand in hand, but apparently not. I should be clear I didn't just ask homo’s in case you were wondering.

What does it mean for me now that I have realised this? For one it means if this were to end, my god I can see how devastating it would be. To have that stability and the constant comfort and reassurance gone would wreck me. Which is why now I understand more than ever, if you want to make something last you must be willing to knuckle down and fight. There is just so much at stake. 

When I think about things on a subjective idea, is this why a lot of the people I asked said they don't consider their partner their best friend? Have they done it all before, and when that went away did, they not know how to deal? Is this just another way of protecting themselves from pain? It’s an interesting thought, but I can only answer that question for myself when I’ve done it a couple more times.

For now, though, it's an interesting place with this concept as I didn't expect to happen. Now that I’ve got it, I don't want to give it up. It just feels good to have someone who knows all my thoughts, feelings, and have a connection with them on so many different levels. Fingers crossed that doesn't go away too soon, or you’ll most likely hear about it.

Xo FabEs