Be By Myself
Dear friends,
I would like you all to stay with me for the next month as I’m going to be talking about relationships. The casual kind, the more serious kind, and then once were done with that we can move on to sex, wont that be fun!
As of last Valentine ’s Day, I have been single for three years. Yes in the last three years I have really dated or seen anyone in a longish term, and to be honest with you all, I am one hundred percent okay with it. In the past I would have cried and moaned about it, but now a days I don’t really need the hassle.
Three years ago after I saw the last guy I was dating, I took a break from seeing guys, and it lasted longer than I realised. I only really noticed towards my birthday of that year, I hadn’t dated anyone, or even met anyone in any fashion. Then as time went on, it became less important. Then suddenly work took over my life, and before I knew I had no real time to date.
When I think about the last three years I can remember meeting one or two guys for a nice coffee date, or first date but then nothing really came of it. Yes most of that had to do with them not me, but that’s life. When I really think about it, I think with some of them I honestly did dodged a built.
What has changed with me to make know that I’m alright with being alone? For one my mental health has played a big part of it. I know three years ago, I wasn’t in a good mental place. However, now I feel like I’m in a good mental space, I know I’m not really not ready mentally. Even thought I know who I is, it doesn’t mean I am ready to let someone into the real me just yet. Reason being, I am still finding that out, and as of writing this I am about seventy percent of the way there.
I do remember a time when there was nothing more than I wanted to be part of a pair, and now that is the furthest thing from my mind. I am trying to figure out how to spend my free time with so many different activities I’ve got on the go, and trying to sort out my mother. There is isn’t a lot of time for me to go out and find dates, but there again where would I find these dates?
This is the second thought that crosses my mind, where would I find decent men to actually take me out, and not try to take me to bed? I know for one thing Grindr is only finding me dick, and I mean that literally. Then I think about doing things the old fashioned way, meeting people in bars, But have you been to a bar recently, it’s a pack mentality. Trying to get one person alone, is a hard task. Then I guess my next option would be having to try one of these proper sites where you have to pay for it, and hopefully get some decent people there.
When the times comes, I know will happily date someone, and have what some many of my close friends have. I know because of my age I should be a in a similar boat to them, but its me, I like being unique and I’m done trying to force things. Things will happen when it happens, It could be five years it could five weeks. The only thing I want to make clear is I am happy, and that is paramount. Also I want you all to know I am happy being alone, and it doesn’t scare me or worry me.
When I do meet someone you’ll be the first to hear about it, I’m sure. Till then I’ve got to be by myself this time.
