bad guy

Dear friends,

For a long time, people have always called me bad. The reason why they have called me bad is numerous. Some see me as bad because, I tell it like it is. I call people out about their bs, or just because I say something which might seem mean. I don't deny sometimes I can be mean, but I feel like sometimes in life you need to be the bad guy.

As I am currently training for a job where I must constantly be the bad guy. Which I am okay with. I am okay with it, because I thinking the bad guy allows me to be the evil genius, I think I am. When I must give bad news, I do feel like this might disappoint someone, but I know I must do it. One of the reasons is, I know it’s the harsh reality of life. Not everything can be sunshine and roses. Sometimes, something bad must happen and you must deal with.

Which I think is a theme in life, and more specifically my life. I’ve had so much bad happen to me, and I’m still here. Even though there were a lot of time when I thought that was going to happen. For now, I am used to the disappointment of life, and I feel like I need to get the next generation ready for the same.

Why am I the bad guy? Well, I must tell kids their writing is crap. What they are thinking is wrong and tell them off for bad behaviour. When I first started, I was very reluctant to do it. I would get into a little panic about wither or not I should. Sometimes I would think how can I say this in a nice way? As I didn’t want to hurt anyone’s feels. However, now I’ve accepted that sometimes I must be harsh, and I must be mean. Which sometimes I still feel bad about, but now I’ve just accepted it.

It just a shame it can’t be said about my personal life. It so weird that in my professional life I am okay with it, but to disappoint people I know, I find so hard. I’ve had people who’ve been a right dick to me, yet I haven’t been able to be the bad toward them. I haven’t had the courage to tell people about themselves. I haven’t been able to tell people, maybe they need to try therapy. Maybe they should leave their partner. Or maybe they should try something, without automatic writing it off.

Why would this make me the bay guy? Because sometimes people don’t like to be criticized, and some people don’t want people to tell them things they have doubting about themselves. If I was going to tell someone something like they might end up hating me because of it. I know some people would throw it back at me, what if they were to say something about me? Personally, I might take it bad for a minute, but more likely I know what they are going to say about me. Which is why, I wouldn’t take it in a bad way. Where others would.

I personally thing I used to be a lot meaner, but since I haven’t been around people it has passed. Or maybe in my head I feel like I am lot meaner than I actually am. Maybe it’s in my own head where I have disjointed sense of morality. Or there are other influences which are making me feel this way. However, I do know if your dad or boyfriend is hot, I would flirt with them though. 

Maybe I’m not the bad guy, but I am not the good guy either. Maybe I am just a guy in the middle, who is okay, with being bad and being good. But I feel I sit somewhere in the middle. Maybe we all do, but I think once again it sits with your idea of morality. For now, I’m going to be the bad guy at work, and try and be the bad guy with friends. Who knows, how it might turn out.

Xo FabEs