Chapter Six: Perfect Lover

DESMOND

Sleeping with Wesam hadn’t been on my agenda for the weekend, but I wasn’t mad about it. After the day we had, and the way he had gotten Light to respond to him, it seemed like the right time. It didn’t seem like mistake at the time, nor did it the now. It all seemed very right, and like it was the right time to do it. Of course, many people would have slept with Wesam sooner, and there might have been a time when I would have done the same thing. However, I felt waiting was the right thing to do.

As for the sex itself, it was very good. I wish I could have said it was great, I was keeping the event at this level, as I knew it could only get better. While I also knew if I tried to make it the greatest sex I ever had, it would mean if it ever went bad, I would constantly wonder what went wrong. Maybe be I could say it was great but, I’ll keep that thought to myself. I didn’t want to give Wesam a big head, also I didn’t want to put it out there. It was great, there I said it. Why was this so hard to admit?

Adam, it was always Adam. The sex we had was always great, and I meant it. I had said so many times. To myself, to Adam, to Cassidy. But the relationship around the sex wasn’t great. To be honest, there wasn’t really a relationship around sex. That’s probably why the sex was so great. Adam only thought about the sex and getting off. He never once cared how I was doing. Adam just wanted to make sure I was moaning, and that was it. That was all that mattered. Whereas sex with Wesam was little different.

I thought about all the sex I ever had in my life, I tried to think about the men I had slept with. The number wasn’t that big, or at least to me it wasn’t. I remembered the first, and how bad it was, the pain and how quick it was. Then I thought about the other couple men I hooked up with in my early twenties, and how some were good, great even. But they were far in-between, before never seeing some these men again. Seeing as I never really had a boyfriend before I could only compare sex with a random person compared to sex with a long-term partner.

Then I had a think about having sex with Wesam. How it started and how went and how it lasted for quite some time. It really was an event. When I thought about, I was surprised it lasted as long, as we didn’t even have dinner till after. Thank God for Dominos. It wasn’t rushed, it was nice and gentle at times, and then at times it, it seemed reminiscent of a good porno. It was perfect, actually.

As I laid their looking at Wesam sleeping next to me, I was grateful to have this man next to me. Today was going to be another good day. Wesam and Cassidy were going to get on, and I was going to enjoy all the good things happening to me. I had a right to happiness.

‘Good morning,’ said Wesam, opening his eyes.

‘Morning,’ I said.

‘What’s the time?’

‘I don’t know, something after nine I think.’

‘I guess we’ve got more than enough time, for some morning fun.’

‘Really?’ I asked, shocked at this sudden proposal.

‘Morning wood you know,’ said Wesam.

I realised this didn’t seem as romantic as it could have been, but the man next to me was “up” and I enjoyed last night. Why not see if this morning would be the same or better.

‘Let’s go,’ I said, rolling over, and moving my hands toward, the morning wood.

WESAM

Starting his day off with sex wasn’t something I normally did. It normally wasn’t my style, but this morning I felt like I needed to throw down a little, and I was glad it was met with such enthusiasm. It wasn’t long after what we had the night before, but it still was at least an hour. I enjoyed the way that Desmond responded to way I touched his body. It was one of the best, if not the best sex I had. Sadly, my judgement couldn’t be trusted as I hadn’t had sex in almost three years. Getting some action again might be clouding my judgement.

After the sex we decided to shower, afterwards I finally checked my phone. I found a lot of messages from Saanah from the night before. It seemed like having a night of sex and forgetting my phone had some consequences. Rather than text her back, I thought I should really call her. Realising Desmond’s place being so small there wasn’t any where I could go to really have a conversation. Not that I wanted to keep this from Desmond, I just wanted to have a little bit privacy for Saanah’s sake. I decided to pop out to the shop for an energy drink and would call Saanah while I walked.

‘You’re late,’ said Saanah, answer the phone.

‘Sorry,’ I said, ‘I was with Desmond and his nephew last night.’

‘I see, so why are you calling me now.’

‘I just wanted to make sure you’re okay.’

‘I’m fine, it was just a silly fight last night. We worked it out this morning.’

‘Was it about the wedding?’ I asked, as I reached the shop.

‘No, it had to do more with what we are doing next weekend,’ said Saanah, ‘one of her friends is having a thing, one my friends has a thing, and we just had a little disagreement about it. But whatever its sorted now.’

‘I’m sorry I was busy,’ I said, paying for the can of Monster the Doctor and left the shop.

‘Like I said, it was silly argument. I just wanted to vent to someone. I just forget that you have a man that is keeping you busy these days.’

I realised this was true. Normally I would have been at home after the event, and Saanah and I would have most likely talked last night. Or if I was doing anything else, I would have had a conversation with Saanah.

‘Yeah, I do. I hope you’re not mad with me,’ I said.

‘Honey, don’t be sorry for having a life,’ said Saanah, ‘I’m glad you are having a good time.’

‘Yeah, we are. We had sex for the first-time last night.’

‘Not that I want the gross details, but how do you feel it was?’

‘It was great,’ I said proudly.

‘Good, but how do you feel about it?’

I had to think for a second, it wasn’t something I had asked myself before now. I enjoyed it sure, but how did I honestly feel about it?

‘Good, I guess,’ I said.

‘Good,’ Saanah mirrored, ‘this was your first time since him, wasn’t it?’

‘Is there anything I haven’t told you?’

‘that’s a yes. Well, I hope it was better than it was with him.’

‘It was,’ I said, simply.

‘Good that’s what I want to hear.’

‘Well, you know his friend, we’re going for dinner this evening.’

‘How do you feel about that?’ asked Saanah.

‘I don’t know. I want to like him, but I just don’t want to find out he’s into Desmond or something.’

‘This isn’t a cliched drama, and even if he is that’s not your issue, that’s his, you’re with Desmond, now enjoy it.

‘I’ll try to remember that’ I said.

‘Good, so what else have you done with Desmond this weekend? I mean, what did you do with his nephew.’

DESMOND

Wesam must really be tired, I thought. He had already had a coffee and now he went to get an energy drink. He must have been wipe out after all the sex they we been having. Also given that he had a very busy and stressful week and dealing with a young child. There are so many reasons why he could need some more energy.

Before I could think about it more, my phone started ringing for a FaceTime call, Cassidy was calling.

‘What’s up,’ I said, answering the call.

‘I want you be honest with me,’ said Cassidy, ‘I got hit a bit today at wrestling, does my face look bad?’

I looked at Cassidy’s face, and it looked like it normally did.

‘You look normal,’ I said.

‘You sure, right near my left eye, I feel like it looks a bit bruised.’

‘Honestly your face is intact. Why are you worrying about it?

‘I’m meeting your guy and some I haven’t met before, and I don’t want to look like I’ve been in a punch up,’ said Cassidy. ‘This isnt about vanity, I just want to make sure I look like respectable.’

‘I’m glad you put so much effort in,’ I said, ‘even if you were bruised it’s you, I want Wesam to get to know.’

‘Okay then. What do you know about Wesam’s flatmate?’

‘Nothing much, I know he’s Korean and they work out together.’

‘That’s not much to go on,’ said Cassidy, ‘Do you know if he’s cute?’

‘I’ve not seen a picture,’ I said, ‘I’ve just heard things about him. He’s nice, seems fun, he and Wesam are really close.’

‘And you’ve made it very clear this isnt a set up?’

‘I didn’t even think about it that way,’ I said honesty, ‘You know I haven’t really thought about what this evening means.’

‘What are you going on about?’

‘Just that I didn’t really think wither you and Wesam would get on. Or if Wesam’s flatmate would think we’re trying to set you guys up. There is a lot of factors I haven’t considered.’

‘If me and Wesam don’t get on its fine,’ said Cassidy, ‘I’d only have to see him at your birthday and other big events. Even when we do have to meet, I’ll treat him just like a treat my father half the time. As for his flatmate he could move. I know Wesam likes books, I’ve read a few of those, so I have something to say to him.’

‘I’m glad you have a plan.’

‘Let’s not forget we have one big thing in common.’

‘What’s that?’ I asked.

‘You.’

‘Oh,’ I said, forgetting there is a lot of things that could be said about me. As Cassidy has known me a long time, and there are a lot of stories he could share. ‘I didn’t think about that.’

‘This could even be how I stole Wesam from you.’

‘Don’t even joke about that,’ I said, at once.

‘Fine,’ said Cassidy, ‘Well I better get some clothes on.’

‘You’re naked?’

‘No, I’ve got underwear on, look,’ said Cassidy, point the camera down to show himself in small and tight black briefs. ‘It’s a new sponsored post, make sure you like the pic.’

‘I’ll see you later.’

‘Bye,’ said Cassidy, hanging up.

I then went to Instagram to find Cassidy’s account to like his new post. While the profile was loading, there was a knock on the door. I walked over to answering it and Wesam was behind the door.

‘Welcome back,’ I said, giving Wesam a kiss. ‘I was just talking to Cassidy; he’s really looking forward to tonight.’

‘Okay,’ said Wesam, flatly.

‘I never told you, Cassidy also does some sponsored posts, and here is his latest.’ I held up my phone to Wesam eyes so he could see the picture. ‘I must say I prefer when he get’s the free electronics.’

‘I see you liked it.’

‘I’ve liked them all,’ I said, ‘friend loyalty and all that.’

WESAM

The time had come, it was now time for me to try and get to know Cassidy. All I could think about all day was the picture I had seen of Cassidy. It had stunned me how good he had looked in the picture, and how casually Desmond had been towards it. Like seeing your friend in such a small pair of underwear, and seeing the amount of likes it had. I couldn’t help but wonder why Desmond hadn’t realised how much he was better than me. A part of me did think, maybe Desmond had seen so much of Cassidy, he had become so used to it, that this wasn’t nothing new. I really didn’t think so.

When I thought about it, if the same was to happen to me, I would surly notice. If Heung-Ming had suddenly decided to start walking around the flat in near to nothing, I knew I couldn’t help but notice. No matter how many times it would happen, I would notice. I did wonder if noticing was as a good or bad thing, I didn’t know. If I could be honest about it, why hadn’t Desmond noticed? Or was he just keeping all these feelings to himself, so he could enjoy his own little pleasures?

As Desmond and I waited for Cassidy and Heung-Ming on the corner of Charing Cross Road and Soho. I really wanted Heung-Ming to go arrive first. That way I didn’t have to make conversation while they waited for their fourth member to join them.

‘Is there anything I should know about Heung-Ming?’ asked Desmond, as we waited.

‘Nothing I can think of,’ I said, I then thought for a second, and continued, ‘he likes football a lot, so if you know anything about that it will be good.’

‘I don’t. Cassidy is more a sports guy, so maybe he will.’

‘Also, he can drink a lot.’

‘Oh,’ said Desmond, looking surprised.

‘I just mean if he seems like he’s gone through a lot, he has hight tolerance.’

‘Okay, gotcha.’

I knew I should really ask the same about Cassidy, but I decided I didn’t really need to know more about him just now. From what I had seen and heard; I had a great deal to go off.

‘As for Cassidy,’ said Desmond, as if he could read my mind, ‘he says things that you can’t tell or not if he’s being serious, just take it as a joke. That’s what I do, and it works out.’

‘Okay then,’ I said.

I got a message from Heung-Ming, saying he was here. I looked around to see if I could see him coming, and I could, and not too far behind him I could see Cassidy coming as well.

‘There here,’ I said to Desmond pointing out the two men coming towards them.

‘Hi,’ said Heung-Ming when he caught up to the two of us.

‘Hi and Hi,’ said Desmond, as Cassidy had turned up a couple seconds later.

‘Hey,’ said Cassidy.

‘Hey,’ I said, flatly.

‘We’re all here,’ said Desmond, ‘Let’s go get some food.’

The four of us walked into Soho to go have something to eat. I walked with Heung-Ming and Desmond walked with Cassidy. Each of us having are own little conversations till we reached the restaurant. Where we were sat quicky and ordered some drinks and then began to chat.

‘How did you two become flatmates?’ asked Desmond.

‘Oh…well…,’ I started, not sure how to answer. ‘It was…’

‘It’s a very unusual story,’ said Heng-Ming, ‘I was friends with the guy who Wesam was with at the time, and Wesam’s old flatmate then left, and I was told about the room and that’s how we ended up living together.’

‘Not that strange,’ said Cassidy, ‘are you guys still friends with this ex?’

‘No,’ I said.

‘Fair enough,’ said Cassidy, ‘BRB need the loo.’ Cassidy then got up and walked towards the toilet.

‘Your friend is really sexy,’ said Heung-Ming.

‘A lot of people says that,’ said Desmond.

‘Does he have a boyfriend?’

‘No, Cassidy is very single and rarely dates really.’

‘How come?’ asked Heung-Ming, straining his neck to make sure Cassidy didn’t come back too soon.

‘He’s become very selective as he gotten older. Mainly because too many people like him for superficial reasons.’

Heung-Ming mumbled something in Korean, while nodding.

I had a thought about what I just heard; Cassidy didn’t like to be liked for his looks. Then why did he pose on the internet half naked?

‘Then why does he do those posts?’ I asked.

‘He does it to get extra cash to help out his sister and her kids,’ said Desmond.

Heung-Ming, said something again in Korean, just as Cassidy returned.

‘What are you guys talking about?’ asked Cassidy, as he sat down.

‘You actually,’ said Desmond.

‘Most people are when I’m walking away, but anything you want to say to my face.’

Desmond gave his friend an annoyed look, and the said, ‘We were just talking about your posts.’

‘Oh those, whatever.’

There was a moment pause for a second, as everyone didn’t know how to continue.

‘How did you two become friends,’ asked Heung-Ming, trying to pick up the conversation.

‘It’s kinda embarrassing,’ said Desmond.

‘It’s more embarrassing for me than you,’ said Cassidy.

‘It’s embarrassing for the both of us.’

‘Someone tell it,’ I said, impatiently and desperate to hear the story.

‘Well…’ said Desmond, gesturing towards Cassidy.

‘Fine!’ said Cassidy, ‘It was back when we were at uni, we didn’t know each other. I was out and little drunk and a kinda horny, and I went on one of the apps and got speaking to Desmond. And I, invited myself over to his place for us to hook up.’

‘Eh!’ said Heung-Ming, ‘You two have hooked up?’

‘No, we didn’t,’ said Desmond, shaking his head. ‘When he came over, he…looked a lot like his pictures. I was like oh damm, this guy really isnt like the guys I normally meet. And I got super, super nervous. I was like am I really going to hook up with a guy who looks like this. Then what happened Cassidy?’

‘I fell asleep in his bathroom,’ said Cassidy, with his eyes closed.

‘No way,’ said Heung-Ming.

‘He decided to sit down to pee, and just fell asleep on my toilet,’ said Desmond, ‘after a while when he said he went to toilet, I thought he had left or something. I remember saying, “Todd are you okay,’ and since the house I was living in was crap and the locks didn’t work, I opened the door, and found him sitting on the toilet, head against the wall mouth open asleep.’

‘Okay, okay,’ said Cassidy, as Desmond and Heung-Ming were laughing.

‘What happened next?’ I asked, ignoring the laughter.

‘Since I’m a nice guy,’ started Desmond, ‘I was able to get him up and a wake a little, to pull up his trousers, and get him into bed. Where I let him sleep, as I’m not a creep.’

‘I remember waking up, not knowing how I got into a bed and room I didn’t know,’ said Cassidy, ‘However, I was still dressed so that was a good thing.’

‘I had gone to sleep, gotten up to go a lecture and he still hadn’t woken up. So, I thought when I got home, he would have let himself out and we would never see each other again. When I got home, guess what he was still sleeping in my bed.’

‘I was tired, I was hungover, I was just so meh. I just ended up sleeping most of my day in Desmond bed.’

‘To finish this story,’ said Desmond, ‘When I got back, I was shocked he was still there, and hadn’t robbed me. I woke him up, and he was super shocked because he didn’t remember that I was guy he met. I made him a cup of coffee, said he could shower if he wanted, and then head home.’

‘Desmond was so nice to me,’ said Cassidy, ‘I would be like, okay mate get out my house, but he was so nice. I had the best coffee I’ve ever had, and the quick little shower he offered, and I really felt cheeky about it. Then after I showered, I looked on his bookcase and saw the DVD for Toy Story, and I remember asking can I watch it before I went.’

‘I was like yeah okay. I was thinking, is he was just trying to hook up with me, and then we watched it. Nothing happened, and I was glad, because at that point, I was over it. Then he ordered pizza, we watch something else, and he didn’t go home to Sunday evening. Then suddenly we saw each all the time, and, and! I still haven’t got back my hoody!’

‘Whatever, I still have it some where,’ said Cassidy.

‘How many days did he stay are yours?’ I asked.

‘This was a Thursday night,’ said Desmond, thinking, ‘So it was about four days.’

‘You just made me feel so comfortable,’ said Cassidy, kissing Desmond’s hand.

‘How cute,’ said Heung Ming.

DESMOND

There was something up with Wesam, I just could feel it. He had been acting odd since we all met. I hoped it wasn’t because he didn’t like Cassidy. Everything seemed to be going okay, but there was something off about it. I couldn’t put my finger on it, but there was an air around Wesam for some reason.

After we had dinner, we decided to go for a few drinks in Village. Which, I thought was good idea as everyone was having a good time. Cassidy seemed to be having a good time with Heung-Ming, which wasn’t something neither Wesam nor I had tried to create, it just seemed to happen.

‘Cassidy and Heung-Ming seem to be getting on,’ I said, to Wesam, while the two were at the bar.

‘Yeah,’ said Wesam simply.

‘And Cassidy thought earlier we we’re trying to set him up.’

When Wesam didn’t say anything, I knew he had to ask him what was on his mind.

‘Wesam is everything okay?’

‘Yeah why?’

‘Because…you seem a little off since we met up with everyone this evening.’

‘It’s just…’ Wesam began, ‘do you think you would have hooked up with Cassidy when you first met?’

This was a very odd question for Wesam to be asking.

‘No,’ I said, honestly.

‘Are you sure?’ asked Wesam, sounding insistent.

‘Very sure. Even when he came over, I was like I don’t know if I can do this. But I am glad we didn’t.’

‘How about now, do you still want too?’

‘God no. Why are you asking all these questions?’

Wesam didn’t answer.

‘Are you worried Cassidy and I are going to hook up or something?’

‘No,’ said Wesam, but I didn’t believe it.

‘Are you jealous of mine and Cassidy’s past? If you are, you don’t need to be, this all happened when we were younger, over ten years ago. If either one of us wanted it to happen it would have happened in that time, don’t you think?’

Once again Wesam didn’t answer, he continued to stare into space.

I wasn’t sure why this had suddenly come about. They had a nice weekend together, now I was coming face to face with Wesam being jealous of a story that happened over ten years ago. I had honestly thought of it as a very PG story, as nothing happened. It was close, sure, but nothing happened. I had told that story to many people over the years, even Cassidy’s mother knew the story. She didn’t care why did Wesam care so much about it?

This whole thing was more than stupid. I wasn’t jealous of Heung-Ming, he was an attractive man, but that didn’t mean I was going to suspect that he would sleep with Wesam. I was confident in the trust he had for Wesam.

Then that’s when it hit me, Wesam didn’t have trust in me.

‘Wesam,’ I said, ‘Do you trust me?’

It was a question I needed to ask, and I needed Wesam to answer. If any of the question he had asked in the last few minutes that needed to be answered, this was the one question I needed to be answered.

WESAM

I knew the answer to the question, I didn’t know how to word it, so it didn’t sound as bad as it did in my head.

‘I’m worried that one day you will realise you should be Cassidy and not someone like me?’

‘Why would I ever think that?’ asked Desmond, ‘I like you, and Cassidy is just my friend. I like spending time with you.’

‘But…’

‘There is no but,’ said Desmond, now sounding angry, ‘You either trust me or you don’t, and if you don’t, I don’t know why. I have no interest in Cassidy, he’s my friend, and I won’t pick you over him. He has been there for me before you and being there for me after you.’

Desmond then got up and walked away in the crowd.

I sat there shocked that all this happen sooner rather than later. Even though I had caused it, Desmond had chosen Cassidy over me. Just like Niko had done before. Why would anyone choose me? Nothing made me special.