07 Thomas

It had been a week since the little get together at my place, and I hadn’t seen Lucas. It was weird, I usually avoid Lucas, but ever since he found out I’ve wanted to know if he was walking away from me, or is sticking around. It wasn’t like I hadn’t tried to talk to him, I’ve called, sent messages, and nothing. I did consider going to his place, but I wasn’t in any mood to stand outside his door, or get the door slammed in my face. It was weird how much I cared.

            Someone who did want to see me was Timothy, who I hadn’t seen too much of, as he was busy with exams and stuff, so I was more than willing to give him his space. Unlike any one else he did keep in contact with me, even if it was a couple messages every other day.

            Tim had asked if he could come over, because he wanted to see me. Of course I was more than happy to, as we hadn’t fooled around in a while. So I was more than welcome for the company. I just hope we get to play around, as I haven’t had non work related sex since my three-way. I had too much of a feeling I might be being watched by someone else.

            ‘I have to tell you something,’ says Tim, after being in the flat a few minutes.

            ‘Okay,’ I say.

            ‘I kissed someone else.’

            ‘Okay,’ I say, glad this was all he had to say.

            ‘You don’t seem upset,’ says Tim, looking at me.

            ‘Why should I be upset?’

            ‘Because I cheated on you, I’ve been feeling bad for the last few days’

            ‘You kissed a guy that’s alright, it’s no big deal. Who was he?’

            ‘He’s a boy a school,’ says Tim, slowly.

            ‘That’s great,’ I say, really meaning it, ‘I’m glad it was a guy around your age, and not someone older than me. Tell me about it.’

            ‘He’s just some guy from my drama class,’ says Tim, eventually, ‘he asked me if I wanted to revise with him, and we kissed at his place.’

            ‘That sounds nice.’

            ‘You’re really not upset?’

            ‘No, I knew this would happen, one day you’d find a guy your age and have the confidence to know what to do. So hopefully now you’ll know how to be around other boys, and if you’re lucky know more than him.’

            ‘I already do,’ says Tim, in a low voice, ‘We got talking after, and I was his first kiss with a boy.’

            ‘Well that even better,’ I say, patting him on the back.

            ‘Why does this feel like you’re encouraging me to go with this guy?’

            ‘Because I am, all I ever wanted for you is to be confident, and I did want to fuck you and we did fuck, so that was good, but now it’s time.’

            ‘Are we breaking up?’

            ‘Yes we are, but for a good reason,’ I say, smiling at him, ‘you need to be with boys your own age, and make sure you stand up to your mother too, she might like this one.’

            ‘Are we going to be friends?’ asks Tim.

            I smile gently, because this the first time he’s has broken up with someone, and saying you’ll be friends is usually what most people say, but never happens. I have no idea if I’ll keep friends with Timothy, but I feel he might for a bit, but honestly who knows.

            ‘Of course,’ I say, ‘you’ve got to tell me about what you two boys get up to, and hopefully some pics too.’

            ‘Sure,’ says Tim, ‘I think I can do that,’

            I lean over and kiss him one more time, and the kiss reminds me off the first time we kissed, and how I need to teach him how to do it right. Now he was a pro all thanks to me. I was going to miss him, but this in truth was always what I saw for Timothy and me. I knew he would find a hot guy and leave me, and I only hoped to fuck him before then, he fucked me so it was kind of nice, just wished I’d got a little more.

            I walked Tim to the door, and waved goodbye. Once the door was closed I had a thought. Timothy had left me, Lucas seemingly had done the same, and Mark has pulled back a lot. It seems like I am running out of guys to fuck.

X         X         X

When I was walking towards Mark’s, I thought about my life. Everything was coming to an end, I knew it was coming, but I didn’t expect it all so soon, or all at the same time. There was a bright side to all of this of course, now that I didn’t have to see Timothy I could work more. If Lucas and I was over, it allowed me to find someone else who who’d be down for regular fucks; maybe I should just stick to NSA, it’ less messy that way.

            When I thought about it, the only person I had left was Eve. That was the real eye opener; the blow job queen was all I had left. I had juggled too much, and it hadn’t got me anywhere. This was the wake up called I needed; it was time to simplify everything. Now it was me and Eve, and no one else. Fuck!

            ‘How come you wanted to see me here?’ I ask, Mark when I’m in the house.

            ‘I err,’ Mark starts, ‘I wanted to have one last good memory of us in this house.’

            Oh no, he was leaving me too, so there goes good sex, well it’s not like I had any of that in the last couple weeks. Now I definitely have to find more work. I wonder if Rich is still up for helping me build my empire.

            ‘I guess this is our last meeting,’ I say, hoping to be proven wrong.

            ‘Well erm,’ said Mark, ‘Let’s go upstairs, yeah?’

            I followed Mark upstairs, and I didn’t bother say anything, I needed to practice my fake the okay-ness, I was going to have portray in a couple minutes.

            ‘I’m, I’m err,’ says Mark, once I closed the door.

            I was getting sick of Mark’s mumbling’s.

            ‘I, I,’

            ‘Oh for fuck sake!’ I exploded, ‘What the fuck did you have to say?’

            ‘I wanted to fuck you,’ says Mark, a lot more confident, ‘and I wanted to go back to fucking you once a week.’

            ‘Thank fuck!”

            ‘You seem happy about that?’

            ‘Yeah, because we have good sex.’

            ‘I know and I’ve missed it,’ says Mark, ‘But you’re not going back to seeing Julia, you’re seeing me only.’

            ‘Excellent,’ I say, thankful I wasn’t losing out on work, and not having to see Julia any more. It was good to just be back to us two.

            ‘But I think before I fuck you again, I need to do something about that filthy mouth of yours.’ Mark walks up to me, and yanks down my trousers and underwear all in one failed swoop. ‘Bend over.’ I did as I was told; after I did Mark gave my arse a hard slap. ‘Nine more.’

            I normally wasn’t into pain, without warning but seeing as this was a reunion of sorts I was really into it. That first slap really turned me on, and also got me a little hard.

            ‘Over here boy,’ called Mark, from his desk chair.

            ‘Yes sir,’ I say, wiggling myself over to Mark.

            ‘Over my knee.’

            I put my body over Mark’s knees, and wait for the punishment.

            He comes down hard, on his first swing it tingles my left cheek. There was a few seconds delay before he hits me again, and this time the tingle feels hot. Then there a delay, then I’m hit again, and this time a let out a little moan of pain, and that one really hurt.

            ‘If you don’t like the pain you should learn to watch you language,’ says Mark, striking me again when he finishes. ‘I want this arse ready for me.’ he hit me again. ‘Let’s make this quick.’ He hits me twice, one right after the other, ‘after I’m done I’m going to fuck you like the slut you are.’ Two more slaps, ‘getting ready boy.’ He hits me one more time, really hard, and I can’t help but yell. I am so turned on, and so ready to be fucked that I want it now. ‘Look at this arse,’ and I felt Mark rub too fingers down my crack, then feel him put a little pressure on my hole. ‘On the floor.’

            I quickly slide to the floor, and rest myself on all fours, ready to be entered. Everything happened so quick, I heard a wrapper being torn; a squirt of a bottle, then felt Mark in me. It hurt since I hadn’t braced myself. Mark started of slow going in and out of me, and it felt so good. Then he picked up the pace, and with every thrust I was moaning in ecstasy as I had missed Mark’s cock in me.

            ‘Fuck me good,’ I say, wanting Mark to make up for lost time.

            ‘You dirty fucking whore,’ says Mark, going in to me quicker.

            ‘Oh shit!’

            There was so much noise, going on around me. I was moaning in pleasure, Mark was deep breathing, with every plunge into me. Then there was the sound of flesh on flesh clapping with the speed Mark was fucking me. Everything was great, this was the world I live to be in, I could shoot at any minute.

            ‘WHAT THE FUCK!!’ I heard, being screamed.

            I opened my eyes and saw Julia had come into the room while we had been fucking. We had made so much noise, and enjoying ourselves that we hadn’t even heard someone come home, let alone upstairs. We really should have fucked at my place.

            I wanted to run, but I couldn’t, Mark’s grip had tightened on my hips when Julia had walked in. Since Mark was still in me, made my movements very restricted.

            ‘It’s not what it looks like,’ says Mark.

            It was very much what it looked like, so I don’t know who that was going to fool.

            ‘You dirty queers,’ says Julia, ‘what the fuck! My dad is fucking my boyfriend! WHAT THE FUCK!’

            I managed, to force Marks hands off me, before what might come next.

            ‘You been fucking my dad huh?’ asked Julia.

            ‘Honey this is the first time this happen,’ says Mark, getting up.

            ‘Don’t you dare come near me! I know that’s bullshit, now I know why you sent me to date him.’

            While Julia had been talking I had redressed my lower half and was ready to get the fuck out of there.

            ‘And I was so worried you were going to find out we had sex, but you two been having sex.’

            ‘YOU HAD SEX WITH HER?’ shouted Mark.

            This was my que to exit. I didn’t say a word, I just ran from the room, down the hall way, and before I could get to the front do I saw Suzanna in the hall way. She looked at me with a sad and confused look, but I didn’t stop to explain I just need to get the hell out. I did want to apologise and blame Mark for the whole charade, but I didn’t I left, never to return again.

X         X         X

Life was really cruel sometimes, it sometimes it can give you something and the take it away so quickly. Mark and I were going to go back to a usual rampant sexual behaviour, but then we go and get caught, now that was all over.

            I don’t know what was going on back at the house, if Mark was going to get divorced, if Mark was going to come and kill me now that he knew I slept with his daughter. I didn’t know, but all I knew now it wasn’t my problem, but I had really fucked myself.

            While I made my way home, I decided I needed to know what was going on with Lucas and me, as I needed a reason to go home and relax, or go home and get someone to make myself feel better. I got off the tube at King Cross and made my way towards Lucas’ place.

            As I was about to cross the street to get to Lucas’ building I saw him coming out of his building, but he wasn’t alone. He was laughing and joking with Noah. I stood on the other side of the road and saw the two of them walk down the street hand in hand, till there were out of my point of view.

            I stood and watched the spot where they disappeared from for a while; I started to walk with no real destination in mind. I needed to clear my head. I should have gone home, but I guess in the end I got the answer I needed, Lucas was done with me and had moved on to Noah. I guess in a way Noah was done with me also, it was a certainly a double blow. No, today has been a triple bow, as I had lost Mark. I need some comfort.

            I ended up at a sex club just off Euston that I used to have a lot of fun at. I paid my entrance fee, and made my way into the dark underground club. The place wasn’t too busy, as it was just a little early for the after work men. I went to the bar, to survey the talent, sadly the men in the main bar area were all older, older men who were checking me out. I wasn’t in the mood for them to suck me yet, I just wanted to see if there was more my kind of men around.

            I left the bar to take a walk one to one of the back areas. I walked down the cabin hall, and there was a bunch of guys standing there with the hand down there pants. As I walked passed one of the cabins, a guy came out of one, I glanced in to see a guy still bending over, and with a filled condom lying on the floor. I carried on walking and took a turn down another hall.

            Down this hall there were more men stroking themselves. There were also little arches, where the doors didn’t cover the full hole, as I past I was able to catch a glance at the action going on.

            I made my way to a large dark area, with sofas on the right hand side of the room. There was to barrels in the middle of the space. I like this room; there was quite a crowd or rubberneckers, as there was a guy on his knees sucking every cock that was being thrown in his direction. It was horny to watch, and men who were watching seemed to be enjoying also.

            As I watched, I found myself starting to play with myself, and wanting to get involved in the action. I did notice that a lot of men kept looking at me, and licking their lips or winking at me. I knew better than return any of these winks or looks as people might think it was okay to touch. Instead I walked from the room and find myself back at the bar.

            I order a drink for the bar, and while I wait I pick a couple condoms and packets of lube from the dispenser. When I get my drink, and I wonder off behind the secluded area just off then bar, hidden behind curtain of beads.

            The area is completely empty, so I enjoy my drink and my alone time. It’s only a minute before someone comes in. He has a round face, brown hair and average body. He smiles at me and it’s quite attractive. Then an older man comes in, he’s wearing glasses, short grey hair, and looks quite built. I look at them again and there not that bad looking. So I thought why not.

            Not looking at the guys, I start rubbing myself, while I slowly drink my beer. I then move my hand into my pants. I look up at the guys and I there are looking at me and mirroring my movements. I then slide my dick out and I just let it flop there. After a moment at looking at it, the older man gets up and makes his way towards me. He looks me in the eye, then dives down and starts sucking on my cock.

            I just sit back and let him suck me, I looked at the other guy, I nod towards him, and he gets up and sits next to me. He tries to kiss me, but I push him away. I shove his head down towards my cock. The other guy stops sucking me, to allow the other to suck me.

            This guy was good at sucking cock. The way he sucking me made my dick swells even more. His mouth is like a hoover, he was really taking my concentration. Eventually he stopped after a minute or two, and I was able to refocus on what was going on around me. There were now a bunch of men around us, watching, stroking taking me in. Since there was no one on my cock, a man with hardly any hair and looking very old jumped on it. He wasn’t as good as the other guy but I allowed it.

            I looked around and wondered how many of these guys will I get to fuck.

            I stand up, forcing the guy who is sucking me off my cock. A lot of the guys who are still around me try to grab my dick to suck me, but I keep them all at bay. The grey haired man with glasses stands up leans himself in front of the wall, and then he lowers his jeans to expose his Andrew Christian jock strap.

            I look at his round ass in the jack with his hole nicely exposed; I take one of the condoms out of my pocket, put it on then make my way towards him, with everyone parting for me to make my way towards him. Then I shove my dick up his arse.

            His hole is quite loose, he’s a man who has been fucked a lot, and recently by the feel of things, but for now his loose ass will do. I keep fucking him, while everyone around me is watching, and stroking. I keep fucking for a couple of minutes, till I’m bored of his loose arse.

            I pull out of him and chuck the condom on the floor. I look around and wonder who I am going to fuck next, but no one seems to be up for fucking. I make my way back towards the larger room, and there is someone bent over one of the barrels, so I walk towards him, rubber up and start fucking him hard.

            His hole is a lot tighter than the last guy, so it’s a lot more fun to fuck him. Of course the crowd is enjoying what I’m doing. A second later someone else has decided to bend over to be fucked, and I’ve decided who I’m going to fuck now. I pull out take out another condom and fuck the next guy, as I start pounding away at this guy the other guys seem to get the idea, and before I knew it a lot of guys are bending over hope to be fucked by me. I just hope I have enough condoms to go around.

X         X         X

A week had passed, since everything blew up.  I hadn’t had a message for Mark or Julia, nor had either of them come to my door. My biggest fear at the moment was Mark might be coming to beat the shit out of me, because of what I’ve done.

            Since I was avoiding being home, encase someone happen to turn up, I had been volunteering to get Thomas from school, and spending my evenings hanging out with Thomas and Eve. Sure it’s the coward’s way out, but it was keeping me safe.

            As I was about to head out to do some running around before getting Thomas, the buzzer went. I went over to answer not expecting any one, and when I looked at the buzzer it was Julia.

            I stared at her, I didn’t know if I should answer. I didn’t know if she had found the videos, or she was coming here to slap the shit out of me. When she buzzed again I knew I had to answer.

            ‘Hello,’ I say, trying to be nice.

            ‘Let me in,’ says Julia, ‘I need to talk to you.’

            I hover my finger over the key button, for a second before I let her in. Either way she’d get in, and most likely camp outside my door till she saw me. The waiting for her was agony, because I didn’t know how she was going to be, so I prepared for her to be hostile.

            ‘Hello,’ I say again, when Julia is at my door.

            ‘Can I come in?’ she asks, I stand aside and let her in.

            ‘I just hope you’re not going to stay long?’ I ask, ‘because I’ve got a few things I need to get on with.’

            ‘It won’t take long,’ she says, just standing around the door.

            I didn’t know what to say, or what to do. I should try to get to sit down, or if I should sit to see if she would join me.

            ‘What did you want to talk about?’ I ask, hoping to get to the point.

            ‘I know everything,’ Julia starts, ‘I know that you’re prostitute, and my dad was paying to have sex with you, and then got you to go out with me to see you more. This has finally broken my parents, there officially getting divorced. In a weird way I should thank you. The only thing I want to know is, why did you sleep with me? I know you weren’t supposed to, but I want to know why? Why did you fuck me? When you were fucking my dad?’

            I looked at her, and I couldn’t give her the honest answer, that would be too cruel. I know I should, but a lie when her world is turning to shit isn’t that bad.

            ‘I just wanted to,’ I say, ‘I like sex, with men and women, and when we met we had a good time, you turned me on so I just went for it.’

            ‘As simple as that?’

            ‘Yes, the fact that you dad was screwing me was business, you were pleasure. I know I shouldn’t have double dipped but I did. But it was fun.’

            ‘At least I know,’ she says eventually, ‘my dad doesn’t know I’m here but I’m not going to tell him. I just wish we didn’t have all these games, I really did like you.’

            ‘I’m sorry too, I did try to make him be more careful and sensible, but he was too in love with me.’

            ‘I know the feeling,’ says Julia, moving towards the door. ‘Have a good life,’ she looks at me curiously, ‘what is your real name?’

            ‘My name is L, it’s always been L since I was little so that wasn’t a lie.’

            ‘Well good luck L,’ says Julia, finalising things and then she left.

            I closed the door behind and was thankful, as it could have been worse.

X         X         X

A few hours later I picked up Thomas from school, and I was making our way home. As we walked Thomas kept up his usual chatter about school and other things he would like to do, while I just listened.

            When we get to the flat, Thomas asks me to make him a smoothie. I didn’t want to get through the hassle of making one, but Thomas said he had pre-maid packs in the freezer. I looked in the freezer and there was a pre paired pack that only needed some orange juice. I make Thomas his smoothie, and then gave it to him.

            ‘Thanks L,’ said Thomas, shaking the bottle it was in.

            ‘You’re welcome,’ I say.

            Before I could exit the room, I felt some cold hit my back neck, and hair. I turn around to see that the lid of the smoothie had opened and went all over him, and me.

            ‘Oh no,’ says Thomas.

            ‘Now we have to shower,’ I say.

            I pull off my top, which just happens to be white, and try to get the wet ness out of my hair. I then throw my top in the washer. I then unbutton Thomas’ school shirt and put in the washer too.

            ‘Okay take off your trousers,’ I tell Thomas.

            He slowly takes off his trousers, trying not to get it any more on him. Once he’s out of the trousers I chuck it in the washer, then I lift him over the puddle he’s in front of.

            ‘L you’ve got some on your trousers,’ says Thomas.

            I twist my body to see it, and there is a little patch on my waist band, and seemly on my underwear.

            ‘Looks like we both need a shower,’ I say.

EIGHTEEN YEARS AGO

I will always remember the day I met him. The reason I remember him is, it was the first time I ever felt this way about a man. It was weird, but he was just all I could think about for the longest time, even after I didn’t see him anymore.

            ‘L this is Ken,’ said Mum.

            I was looking at a tall, pale, deep blue eyed, red headed man. He was wearing a short sleeved white shirt, and dark blue jeans and Nike trainers. He looked extremely muscular, but the way he was standing I could see the muscle on his arm, and his chest looked really wide. As I looked at him I could see a couple red chest hairs poking out the top of his shirt. I didn’t know how old he was, but didn’t look Mum’s age; he looked like he was younger, a lot younger. He was a very attractive man. I don’t know why but I wanted to kiss him, and I never felt that way before.

            ‘Hello,’ I said.

            ‘Alright mate,’ he said, in response and he’s voice was deep and gruff.

            ‘Why don’t I go get us something to drink,’ said Mum, and she hurried off.

            After hovering for a few second Ken decided to sit next to me, he sat really close, because of our really small sofa, so close that our legs were almost touching.

            I didn’t know what to say; usually I knew what to say to mum’s boyfriends. This wasn’t the first boyfriend of mums I met. The last one wouldn’t stop talking, and the one before really liked touching me. With Ken just having him next to me was overpowering my thoughts. I could smell him, he smelt sweet. It wasn’t a strong scent, but since I wasn’t thinking about much, I could just smell him and I really wanted to lick him.

            ‘You like playing footty?’ he asked; now noticing the silence was too awkward.

            ‘Yes,’ I said, even though I hated playing it when I was at school.

            ‘You got a ball?’

            ‘No,’ I said, hanging my head. If I had a ball we could have gone out and have some alone time.

            ‘I’ll get you one,’ he said.

            I looked up and smiled, as I knew this was a sign I would be spending time with him. After I smiled at him for a second, he patted me quite hard on the shoulder. The fact he touched me sent shockwave through my body. It had a really weird effect on me, because I felt a jump of pain in the pit of my stomach.

            Not much happened after that. Mum came back with a drink, and then she told me about Ken. He was a mechanic, and he had a son around my age. Then we had dinner and I was told to go to bed shortly after. But I didn’t sleep; I just kept on thinking why did I want to touch Ken, why did he make me feel funny. I didn’t know why.

            Eventually I fell asleep, but woke up because I needed the toilet. After I had gone to the toilet I went to go back to bed, but when I came out of the bathroom, I saw Ken walking towards me.

            He was only wearing briefs. I took in his bulge first as that was the first thing in my line of view. Slowly I moved my eyes up to the man in front of me. There was hair all over his body, there was quite a bit around his stomach, but there was a lot more on his chest. The hair was all the same colour as his head, I then notice there was the same colour hair coming out from the top of his underpants.

            I then noticed his body. He had the kind of body all the men have that we’re either on the covers of magazines, or on adverts for underpants. He had a  six pack, that had hair running though most of the grooves, his chest was a lot harder to see as there was a lot of hair there, but I just could make out his square pecks, and that there was no hair around his nipples.

            I felt that pain again, but this time I felt it right in my willie. I grabbed it and found that it was not like it normally was. It was standing up, and felt kind of stiff. I didn’t know what this was but it made me feel funny.

            ‘You okay?’ asked Ken.

            I didn’t know how to tell him that there something wrong my willie. I felt silly saying it to myself.

            ‘My willie hurts,’ I whisper.

            ‘Oh,’ Ken whispers back, ‘has this happened before?’

            I shake my head instead of saying anything.

            ‘Okay, you don’t need to worry. It happens when you get to your age, I’ll let you mum talk to you about it, but for now just go to bed.’

            He put his hand on my shoulder when he finished talking, and it made my willie hurt more. But instead of saying anything I went to bed like I was told. Eventually it stopped hurting, and everything went back to normal.

            I saw Ken three more times after that. Once he was dropping my mum off after taking her somewhere. Next time I saw him he brought me the ball he promised, and we played together. The last time I saw him he was already in the house when I was dropped off from school.

            They were arguing over something. Mum was shouting at him, but Ken wasn’t shouting back. I heard him saying, ‘it’s been weeks,’ ‘You know he is,’ ‘talk to him.’ I didn’t know what they were talking about; I don’t think they didn’t even know I was home.

            I hid in the hallway storage cupboard so I could hear what they were saying. Eventually Ken left without saying anything. After I heard the door slam I heard mum crying. I came out, and went towards her.

            ‘You okay mummy?’ I asked.

            ‘This is all your fault,’ she screamed, and then she slapped me.

            It hurt a lot, but I didn’t know why I was hit.

            Mum then went to her room, and then the next day she stopped being nice to me for a long time afterwards. Eventually I figured out it had something to do with Ken not coming around anymore, I’d done something but I didn’t know what.

X         X         X

Thomas and I had both had a shower, it wasn’t the first time we had showered together, but it was the first time we had done it naked. We showered together all the time after swimming, but we did it with our trunks on, and then changed. To me this wasn’t weird of course; it was cleaning up Thomas’ mess. Seeing how Thomas and I had changed in front of each other before, we had seen each other naked. However, after I finished washing I realised I didn’t have anything to change into.

            Once we were out of the shower I was stuck to being just in a towel.

            ‘I’m cold,’ says Thomas, running into his bed.

            ‘Well you need to get dressed,’ I say, ‘where are you pyjamas?’

            ‘L I have to tell you something.’

            ‘What?’ I say, looking around for his night ware.

            ‘I haven’t slept in pyjamas for a few weeks.’

            ‘Oh, so you like sleeping naked do ya?’

            ‘Yes but don’t tell mum, I dress in the morning so she don’t know.’

            ‘It’s okay I won’t tell her.’

            ‘There is something else I got to tell you,’ says Thomas, looking away.

            ‘Ok what is it?’ I ask, wondering what other little secrets he has to tell me.

            ‘I know what I am, and, and, I feel silly for tell you, but I need to tell you. I like boys.’

            I wanted to say oh, but instead I nodded.

‘I know what gay means, it means, I’m, I’m gay, I like boys.’

            ‘How do you know what gay is?’ I ask.

            ‘They told us at school,’ says Thomas, confidently. ‘One of the girls in my class she, she, has two dads, and they are gay. That means they like each other like you and mum do.’

            I continue to nod, as I didn’t want to break Thomas’ stride.

            ‘I know I’m gay because I like you L.’

            I knew my face was giving away my expression. Thomas liked me, or he thought he did. This was odd, and very brave.

            ‘I’m glad you could tell me,’ I say, ‘why are you telling me this now?’

            ‘Because I wanted to for a long, long, long time.’

            Suddenly showering together didn’t seem like a very bright idea.

            ‘Well Thomas thank you,’ I start, trying of think of way of not upsetting another person. ‘But you know I’m an adult right, and I’m seeing your mum, so this isn’t very good.’

            ‘I know, but I had to tell you,’

            ‘Well I’m glad you did, and if in a few years you still like other boys, I’ll be here to guide you through it.’

            ‘Thank you L.’

            I gave him a quick, hug hoping this wasn’t confusing him.

            I left Thomas in bed while I quickly put the washing machine on so I could get into something. I then cleaned up the mess on the kitchen floor, and thought. Thomas was gay, or at least thought he was. No he probably is, because I remember when I knew. But Thomas was brave enough to tell me.

            I found it weird that as much as I wanted people to want me, I never thought that I would attract a ten year old boy. I mean this was Thomas, the small brown haired, cute little kid, Thomas. The Thomas I got from school, played video games with, Thomas. I wasn’t going to change the way I acted around him, that would be the worst thing I couald do.  Well the worst thing I could do is tell Eve, but I knew I would have to say something, so she wouldn’t get the wrong idea, but what, I don’t know. Man this was a lot to think about.

            ‘L, what are you doing?’ ask Thomas, while I’m lost in thought.

            Thomas is wearing a pair of underpants, standing the living room.

            ‘I was cleaning up,’ I say, ‘and you need to put some clothes on.’ I take a breath, and march Thomas into the bedroom. ‘Right put on something anything.’ I feel my towel slipping, I try to grab it before it falls, but it still drops. I’ve managed to flash Thomas, more of what I don’t need. ‘Okay I really need to find something to put on.’

            ‘WHAT THE FUCK!’ comes from the hallway.

            I turn to see Eve coming into the flat, and with her line of sight, she can see me naked barely holding a towel, and see her son in the same room as me, almost naked. I have no idea what Eve was thinking, but with the revelations of this afternoon, this wasn’t going to end well.