Celebrate

Dear Friends, 

Some people have been surprised this year that I am not doing a thing for my birthday. I’m not this year, because as much as I have thought about it I didn’t know what I really wanted to do. All I know is I wanted to do something simple, and something that isn’t going to cause me a great deal of headache for me to plan. In the end I just end up going with some simple as dinner with the closest people with me. 

I bet some of you would be think why don’t I just don't do nothing at all. The truth is I know I have to do something, because I am a celebrator. I like to enjoy the little things in life, and share the joy excitement or success with others. I think this way for a lot of reasons. Being that I am a depressive I think a reason to have some kind of fun is always nice. Even if I don’t feel it before hand it always nice to have something to do that could be fine. Even in the worst scenario it turns out to be crap, at least I have something to talk about. 

However, when it comes to birthdays it’s a whole different scenario. The reason I like to celebrate growing older is, it’s another year I got to be alive. I know this is an important thing to think about. With the amount of time in the past I have thought about taking my own life, the fact my birthday has come around again, it’s a good enough reason to celebrate. While so many of my friends don’t like to celebrate birthdays, or like the idea of getting older, I really wish people would let this idea go, because I know too many people who will never see another birthday. What’s even worse I know too many others who never got to see their 20th. 

With these ideas in mind I realise sometimes we need a reason to gather friends round and be happy. I constantly forget with life we should be having fun. I constantly do not have fun, I always think about what I should be doing to be responsible, when sometimes I should just say heck to the day and enjoy the nice weather with a nicer view. That’s when I think about my birthday, I always remember back when we were kids and we really used to care about our birthdays. We looked forward to being older, and we had some many ways we wanted to spend it. Then I think about life now as an adult and how quickly the idea has been abandoned and too many of us want to be younger. When in truth we should be thinking of every day as a gift.

As we are now in September I have a lot of things to celebrate this month; birthday anniversaries a start of a new year for me. Only to a few days ago I thought I didn’t want to celebrate all the achievements I have this month. When I actually thought about it, with my depression I should see anything I do as an achievement. Not just anything mind you, but the things that are going to make a positive impact on my life. In the spirt of that, I am going to celebrate my birth, my coming out, anniversary of friendships, and any little personal goals I have achieved. 

People say they never do things like me, and I think this a compliment. Because no matter how depressed I get or down I think my life is going, I can always suck it up and make the most out of something to celebrate. As I take this walk in to 31 years of age I am going to celebrate my last year and toast to the next, and see what comes of it. Raise a glass and let’s celebrate me. 

Xo FabEs