02 Mark

NINE MONTHS AGO

New clients always get me all jittery and excited, because you never know what to expect. A lot tell me they want this, and they want that; but in the end they blow a load in the first ten minutes, then its polite conversation, or there running home to feel ashamed. That’s why I always wonder what’s going to happen, because I’ve only ever had one client who went over because he was so good, and he paid for his extra time, such the gentlemen.

Of course I do have rules about new clients, I must see at least three pictures, I mean three recent pictures. One time I had a guy using a ten year old picture, and it wasn’t a pleasant experience but now I make sure all new clients are genuine. One telephone conversation is also need to make sure. Of course with clients I always use protection, no matter how much extra they offer a condom is essential for work, for leisure that’s at my own discretion.

            I have a glance of my flat; it’s a small one bedroom flat, with small kitchen area on the back wall, a small square table, to separate it from the lounge. In the lounge I have two sofas, both capable of being a bed, a coffee table, and sliding glass doors which lead to my small balcony which overlooks the street. Everything looked fine, but I don’t know why worried what clients thought of my home. They were only there for me, so why should I worry.

            Caught up in my thoughts the flat buzzer went. I walked over to the intercom, as I picked up the receiver I saw the man’s face. It was the same man who I’d previously seen a picture of.

            ‘Hello,’ I said, sounding as pleasantly as I could.

            ‘Hello,’ he said, rather nervously. ‘It’s umm, Mark, I’m here for, umm...’ he paused and looked from side to side, ‘for the arrangement.’

            ‘Yes come to the second floor, on the right,’ I said, buzzing him into the building. I waited by the door, to get him in as quick as possible; he knocks on the door, and now it’s time for me to work.

            ‘Hello,’ I said, opening the door. I take in the man standing in front of me. He looks his age, mid to late forties, his face is wrinkle free, but there are quite a few bags under his eyes. He has a very faint grey beard, and his hair is cut low, with a small quiff, his hair is salt and pepper colour , but it’s greyer on the sides more than anywhere else. He’s taller than me, slightly wider too, but I won’t know more till his clothes come off. He’s moderately attractive, so I would have to fake it that much.  ‘Come in.’

            He doesn’t say anything, but the look on his face, tells the story. Worry, is written all over his face. I don’t know if he’s worrying about being caught, or being able to do what he really wants, but all I know the worry is there.

            ‘Make yourself comfortable,’ I said, as I direct him to the sofa. ‘Can I get you anything to drink?’

            ‘Umm, what?’ He splutters. ‘Yes a drink, yes that would be nice. What do you have?’

            ‘Water, soft drink, or a beer or the like, if you fancy it.’

            ‘Can I have a beer, if you don’t mind?’

            ‘Not at all,’ I tell him, I go to my small fridge under the counter, and take out a bottle of beer, and a small bottle of water for myself. I hand him the bottle and take a seat just opposite him, to help with his comfortability.

            He takes a large drink from the bottle, almost finishing it. ‘Thank you,’ he said after.        ‘Well before we get started, there is an issue of payment.’ he takes out a envelop from his pocket, and extends it to me.

            ‘Oh right yes, thank you,’ I tell him, and take the money and place it in my lock drawer in the coffee table. ‘Now that’s out of the way, do you know what you like to do with your time?’

            ‘I umm,’ he starts, ‘I’m still not sure.’

            ‘That is fine,’ I explain. ‘You’ve got me for the next two hours; we can talk about what you would like to do. Or just talk about what makes you want to do this. We could talk about the things you want to do to me, or what you would like me to do to you. The choice is one hundred percent yours. Let me know if you would like another drink, all you have to do is ask.’

            ‘Okay, well maybe, we could just talk for a bit. There’s no point in me paying for someone as handsome as you and not using my money. It’s just that I haven’t done anything like this since I was a teen. Why am I telling you this? I’ve already told you all of this, haven’t I?’

            ‘Yes,’ I answer, ‘But since were sitting face to face it’s a little different, so why don’t you tell me again the things you have thought about doing. That way we can have some kind of foundation to go off.’

            ‘Okay, well,’ he said gearing up for his explanation, ‘I said, I wanted to do some kissing to see how I like it. Then I guess from there have some sex.’

            ‘What do you mean by sex?’

            He looks away, obviously feeling awkward. ‘Maybe, I fuck you, or having you fuck me. I don’t know. In the porn it looks fun, but can you tell me what there is to do.’

            I smile at him before I start speaking, 'There is a lot to do, depending on your comfort zone. We can kiss, I could suck your cock, or you could suck mine. If you want to fuck I can rim your ass, before I do, or I could use my fingers or a small toy to see if you like the sensation. Then if you like that I could fuck you or you could do all these things to me and see if you like doing them. Or if you want to keep things basic, we can just kiss, while I wank you off. The choice is yours, but there are some of the…more basic options.’

            ‘Can we do all of them?’ Mark asked, still sounding worried.

            ‘You bet,’ I said, taking one swig of my bottle, before I moved next to him. ‘Now what would you like me to do?’

            ‘What do you mean?’         

            ‘Well you said you wanted to do all what I suggested, but I need to know where you would like to start.’

            ‘Well I’d like to kiss you first if that’s alright.’

            I lean and gently press my lips against him, deciding to show it’s alright. He doesn’t do anything right away, but eventually I feel his lips move to kiss me back. Then I gently slip my tongue into his mouth, but it's not well received.

            ‘Hey what are you doing?’ Mark asked, alarmed jumping up and moving towards the balcony doors.

            ‘We were kissing, and now you seem alarmed,’ I explain slowly.

            ‘I just, umm didn’t think, guys you know kissed like that.’

            ‘We do, there is nothing to be alarmed about. Do you want to go back to how we were kissing before, or would you like to skip it?’

            ‘Umm I don’t know, this is all a bit much for me, I think I better go.’

            Up to that point I have exactly three guys almost walk out on me. I know I’ve already been paid, but I do like the idea of repeat customers. I’d had to pull out my big tools.

            ‘There’s no need for that,’ I tell him. ‘Just sit down have the rest of your beer.’ He doesn’t move, so I get up and as I do he flinches. I smile politely and I take a step back into the kitchen. After a few seconds he sits back down on the sofa. ‘Now that’s better. Now let’s have some music.’ I press play on my phone and some music starts to play. ‘Now were just like two guys hanging out having a beer, but I feel a little hot.’ I start to unbutton the shirt I’m wearing, and as I do so I notice Mark is watching me. I then shrug it off, letting it drop to the floor. ‘I think I need some water, I’m still so hot.’ I take my bottle of water, put it to my mouth, then take the tinniest sip and then let the rest fall on my chest. ‘I got my trousers wet.’ I start to unbuckle my belt, and without looking at Mark I know his eyes are on me. I then look up at him as I undo my button, revealing my Aussiebum briefs, then I slowly unzip my trousers.

            ‘Are you going to take them off,’ Mark asks, breathlessly.

            ‘I have to there wet,’ I explain, and I quickly pull the trousers down to my ankles and step out of them. Then I stand in front of him in nothing but my Aussibum’s and white trainer socks. He looks at me; he knows this was his entire request, white underwear and white socks. ‘Didn’t you say you were leaving?’

            Mark swallows, and then said, ‘Not right now.’

            ‘Oh,’ I said, in a surprised voice. ‘Well if you were going to leave, I was going to hop into the shower, but I think I need some help to take my underwear off. Do you think you could help me?’ As I spoke I edge closer and closer towards him.

            ‘I can yes,’ said Mark, this time with more confidence. He grabs my waist and pulls me towards him. He is now staring at my bulge through my underwear, and then he looks up at me. He slowly puts his hands up the back of the underwear getting a tight grip on my butt cheeks. He then removes his hand and places them back on my waist, then puts his thumbs into the waist band, and then slowly pulls the underwear down, allow myself to fall out. He looks at my crotch then back at my face, he does this several times, and then suddenly he gets up grabs my face and kisses me with tongue. Then he pushes me back on to the sofa and climbs on top me, and kisses me some more.

            He fully intends on using his fully two hours.

X         X         X

Sitting and having a Sunday dinner with the Tyler family is a very unusual affair. I am sitting around a dinner table, with Julia to my left and Mark to right. Normally this would have been the kind of thing I would have avoided, but Mark insisted I stay since I dropped off Julia.

            This was far from weird for me, it what it is. Me having dinner with my girlfriends family, and I just happen to be sleeping with her dad for money. It may be fucked up but it isn’t that weird.

            ‘What did you two get up to this afternoon,’ asks Suzanna.

            ‘Nothing major,’ says Julia. ‘We just went out for a bit of shopping, and then got some food.’

            Mark gives me a slight look, to question if it’s true.

            ‘Yeah, I just got myself some very expensive underwear,’ I say, ‘nothing to worry about.’ As I say this I mean it, mainly because when I go out with Julia she drives me crazy and I loose desire to play with her.

            ‘Expensive underwear,’ repeats Mark, ‘why do you spend so much money on underwear.’

            ‘I like the way they feel,’ I explain, ‘and I like the way it makes me look.’

            ‘I bet they do make you look good,’ laughs Suzanna. ‘Maybe you should show me, so I can get him some.’

            ‘Come on mum, dads an older man not like Lane,’ says Julia.

            ‘Come on now your dad has lost a tonne of weight recently.’

            ‘You’ve noticed,’ says Mark, surprised.

            ‘Of course I did,’ says Suzanna.

            Its times like these I feel bad for Suzanna. I can see she has noticed the change in him, and what she doesn’t know is most of the change has been due to me. I sometimes think I am too deep into this family but, I need to get paid and he pays me more for these kinds of experiences.

            After another twenty minutes dinner was over, and meant I could excuse myself from this family moment. Julia was insisting I stay, but I had enough of Julia for one day and made my way to the door.

            ‘Wait up a minute,’ calls Mark, just as I was out the door. ‘Let me walk you out.’ Mark came up behind me and closes the door behind us.

            ‘What’s up?’ I ask, wondering if he’s gotten a little braver.

            ‘I’m going away this weekend for a conference, and I want you to go with me.’     ‘Oh,’ I say. I’ve known for a long time Mark has wanted to have a weekend with me. ‘I am free this weekend so I can do it.’

            ‘Good,’ says Mark, giving me a pat on the shoulder. ‘We can work out the payment later.’

            ‘Yes we can,’ I say, because I don’t want to make a scene when he finds out my weekend rate.

            ‘I can’t wait.’

            I glance down and I can see Mark’s erection through his trousers.

            ‘I can see that,’ I say, ‘maybe you should use it on your wife.’

            ‘She doesn’t want to,’ says Mark simply.

            ‘You might be surprised. Speak to you later.’

            I walk off, leaving Mark and his boner to it. I don’t know why I suggested he sleep with his wife, even though I know if they got it on I might be out of work. I know Suzanna is just a woman who wants to be loved, and if I could just give her that for one night it might just help her out, maybe I am in too deep

X         X         X

A few days later Mark and I  had worked out our weekend price, which included a slight drop in our regular price, but seeing as I upped his meets from two a week to three, I didn’t mind the overall five percent loss.

            I was looking forward to getting out of town for a bit. I know on a weekend I could get all kinds of fun, but seeing I was going to be with Mark all weekend I knew I was would be fucked a lot this weekend, so it kinda made up for it.

            ‘If mummy is working this Saturday can me you go out?’ Thomas asks, as I was babysitting Thomas, and we were playing some Lego Marvel Super Heroes together suddenly.

            ‘I would love to, but I’m going to my parents this weekend.’ I tell him.

            ‘Can I come?’

            This kid just loves spending time with me, and if I were really going home I might consider taking him, but since he doesn’t know what I do, or what I get up too I don’t think neither Mark nor his mum would like it.

            ‘If I could I would,’ I say, hoping this the nicest way I can reject him. ‘But if next week I’m not working or your mum isn’t at work we can all do something.’

            ‘Okay,’ says Thomas, obviously disappointed. ‘But if next week you are free let’s just me and you go.’

            ‘What about your mum?’

            ‘Mum can stay home and rest, she’s always falling asleep.’

            Not sure what to say, about his observations, I just say, ‘sure.’

            ‘Cool,’ then we go back to our game.

X         X         X

The Thursday before I’m due to be away I take Timothy to the movies. I pick him up right outside the school, and wish I didn’t, because there are so many pretty things I wish I could have. When I do see Timothy he points out one of his bullies, and he’s nothing but a skinny little prick. I would only fuck him just to shame him.

            ‘How come you’re taking me to the movies,’ asks Timothy, as we wait for the movie to start.

            ‘I can’t see you this weekend, so I thought I would just see you before I go.’

            Where are you going?’      

            ‘I’m going to see my parents for the weekend; it's my mum’s.’

            ‘Oh,’ says Timothy, with a surprised expression on his face. ‘I thought you might be working.

            ‘Nope I’m leaving London from Saturday.’

            ‘Okay, well thanks for seeing me.’

            ‘Hey, I wanted to see you.’

            ‘Well while you’re away look out for something for my birthday, it’s only four weeks away now.’

            ‘I certainly can,’ hoping the present he wants, is what I want.

            We don’t say no more as the film starts.

X         X         X

Saturday morning comes, and I make my way to Waterloo station, and wait for my twelve forty two train to Kingston. When I am on the train I inform Mark I am on my way. I sit on the train with my headphones in, and cast my eyes around the train, and sadly no on I would even consider going with.

But I needed to get these thoughts out of my head. This weekend I am giving Mark the boyfriend experience, at his request of course. As he put it, ‘we can be alone for two nights like a real couple.’ Even if it was a fantasy for him, there was no way I could pop his bubble. This weekend was going to use all my skills as an escort to make this weekend what he always wanted.

When I get off the train I walk towards the hotel, nothing fancy a Travelodge, since this weekend was going to be quite the dip on Mark’s credit card. I walk straight into the hotel and I find Mark waiting for me in reception.

‘Hey,’ he says, ‘how was the train?’

‘Fine,’ I say, ‘better now that I’m here.’

‘Well let’s go upstairs quickly.’ Mark takes the bag I’m carrying and we walk to the lift, get in it and as the door closes nothing happens. I half expected for Mark to jump me, but maybe because of the cameras he is holding back. ‘This way,’ and we walk down the corridor to the room. Mark opens the door and we both go in. The room is a bit of a mess, but I ignore it taking a good look at the nice view of the town.

            ‘Nice view,’ I say, to break the silence.

            ‘Yeah,’ looks good at night.’

            ‘Well hopefully I’ll be getting a good look at it later.’

            ‘Well you’re here now, but I’ve got to pop out now.’

            ‘What?’

            ‘We had the last of our meetings this morning, but I have to go to a post meeting lunch, which is at two. I shouldn’t be longer than hour, but two hours max.’

            I wanted to get angry with him, for making me come so early. Then I hold it back, he’s paying for the weekend, and if he wants to waste two hours that is his choice. I’ll just have to make myself busy.

            ‘What should I do?’ I ask, innocently.

            ‘Whatever you want,’ says Mark, reaching into his pocket. ‘Here, get yourself something to eat.’ He hands a couple of twenties, ‘when I’m back we’ll mess about a bit then get some dinner. Then we can enjoy our evening.’

            ‘Sure, sounds good,’ I say, as happy as I can sound.

            ‘See you later,’ says Mark, and leaves the room.

            After I take in the view again, I suddenly have the feeling this is what it feels like to be Suzanna. The irony was too sad to laugh at.

SIX MONTHS AGO

‘You know this is the best part of my week,’ Mark tells me, as he is dressing. ‘I now love my Thursday afternoons, that’s all thanks to you.’

            ‘I’m only doing my job,’ I tell him.

            ‘But I mean it though,’ he goes on. ‘When I first came I thought about running away, but now I’m glad I didn’t. I didn’t think I would enjoy having sex with guy so much. Did I tell you?’

            ‘Tell me what?’ I ask, slipping into a pair of shorts.

            ‘I had sex with another lad the other week.’

            ‘Oh,’ I say, a little alarmed.

            ‘I had him over and I fucked him, it was nice, but it wasn’t like when I fuck you.’

            ‘Oh yeah,’ I said, with a cheeky smile. ‘I thought you were going to say that you were leaving me for other boys.’

            ‘Oh god no!’ Mark exclaimed, stopping putting on his trainer. ‘What I was going to say is once a week isn’t enough for me. I’ve got a real taste for you and I want more and more.’

            ‘That’s great.’

            ‘Cos that other lad was fun, but with you I just love how I feel inside you, and the way you just make me feel.’ Mark finishes tying his shoe and walks towards me. ‘I know I’m paying you for it, but you are the best; and why shouldn’t I have anything more than the best?’ He gives me a kiss on the cheek.

            ‘Glad you think so, so when would like to have our second appointment?’

X         X         X

Instead of using Mark’s money for lunch, I decided to walk down the river enjoying the moderate spring weather. I did hope rather than spending my time alone, I would be spending time with Mark, and hopefully shagging my brains out. When we first started Mark was just another client, but as time went on I enjoyed our appointments. These days I hardly have to fake it because I am enjoying it so much. When I think about it, he’s good at it because I have made him so. I guess we all do make our monsters.

            I continue to stroll the streets, seeing families and couples enjoying their time together, it made me wonder if how I was feeling is the same way Suzanna feels, ignored and alone. I wonder if she was alone now, in the house no husband, no daughter just her alone with her thoughts. I had to think she wouldn’t do anything drastic. I know all too well lonely people do desperate things.

            Feeling too upset by the happy people I decided to walk back towards the high street. As I walked past the shopping centre I went to grab myself a small pick me up. After I got my cup of coffee I sat just outside of the Costa, and decided to have a look on Grindr. I knew I was working, but there no harm in window shopping. As I looked there wasn’t too many guys I would have, but being I was so ready for some action I would have taken just about anything.

            I drained the rest of my cup, and decided to check out the centre just too waste time. I didn’t really look at much, but I did stop into the Tommy Hilfiger to purchase some more work clothes. As I exited the shop, I noticed a guy looking at me. Normally I woundn't have noticed just one guy looking at me, but he was very attractive in a bad boy loner type way. He was young, had light brown almost red hair, average height, muscular a couple days stubble, and pierced ears. I caught his eye for a moment, before he looked away to his phone. I continued my way up the centre, and as I was just about to go into the bookstore, I saw the guy again. Was he following me? I was unsure, but it wouldn’t be the first time, someone had followed me trying to get a number. When I walked into the bookshop I went straight to LGBT section, to find out if he was in deed following me. As I picked up a copy of the gay Karma Sutra, I looked over it to see the guy was in the shop with me.

            I was being cruised, this guy was being brave. It excited me my heart raced and I felt a little dizzy, my hands started to feel a little clammy; it’s been such a long time since I’d done something like this. This is what my weekend is meant to be about, not working. Right! I am working, I’m meant to be shagging Mark not some hot guy who is following me around the shopping centre. However, Mark isn’t here and I want some fun so why not?

            I take out my phone and check Grindr to see if he saw me on there earlier. As I look through the first profile I see is a body picture close up, and the next one is one with no picture. I put my phone away and put the book back on the shelf, and slowly walk to another part of the shop, to make sure he is following me. As I move towards the other end of the shop, he does the same keeping a respectable distance.

            I exit the shop, and notice there is a set of toilets opposite, now it’s time to see if he’s really got the balls. The toilet is reasonably full; I look to the right and see there is another set of urinals hidden behind the wall. I go to the furthest one, unzip and wait. I can feel the excitement brewing in me in, and in my penis. I want him to come, and I want him to see me, and I want to catch him watching me. Just as I feel myself get harder in my hand I see him round the corner and he spots me. Now it's game time.

            I stand at the urinal, with my dick hard and ready to be noticed. I look at myself for a few seconds before I slowly turn my head to see if he’s looking. He’s not looking, but I can see he slowly getting himself out of his trousers. Finally he’s got himself out of and starts to take a leak, but he still isn’t looking at me. He is only one urinal over, and he’s steadily looking at his stream of piss.

            I look over my shoulder, at the steady coming of goings of different men. Still very horny by this guy I start to stroke myself, nice and slow to make sure I can get to my full length. Once I’m hard I let go of myself and exhale loudly, and that gets his attention. He looks me in the eye, and I hold him there for a two seconds then I lower my head to look at my cock. In that moment I feel so powerful, because I’m now in charge of what happens next. I glance sideways and I can see his head looking down at me. Feeling the moment, I turn my head to see if he still has his cock out, and from what I can see, it’s getting bigger.

            I catch his glance once again, and this time I give him a devious smile. Then I put my cock away, and zip up my trousers. I slowly turn then walk around him; I smell his scent, which is a mixture of Lynx and cigarettes. I then see the first stall is empty, and I walk in and slightly close the door. As I wait the excitement is turning me on so much, and now I need to realised, more than ever. Then he walks in, and gets really close to me while he closes the door, and locking it.

            Not waiting for an invitation, he goes straight for my cock, grabbing it through my trousers, while grabbing himself.

            ‘Oh fuck,’ he whispers. ‘I’m Andrew,’ he whispers.

            ‘Lewis,’ I say, hoping to get the pleasantries out of the way.

            ‘Hi,’ he breathes. He doesn’t do anything else, just keeps touching me.

            I lean in to kiss him, but he recoils for me. ‘I don’t kiss.’

            ‘If you want to suck my cock, you’re kissing me,’ I tell him. I lean in again and he's still a little apprehensive. I grab the back of his head and force his lips on to mine; he tastes of mint and cigarettes. I push him gently back against the door; his hand has stops stroking me. I lean into him to keep my balance, and I unbuckle my trousers, and pull my cock and balls ready for action. I break away from the kiss, which he’s very good at, I back away slowly just enough to create a bit of distance. He takes me in, from erection upwards.

            ‘Fuck,’ he whispers again.

            ‘Suck it first and we’ll see.’ I whisper back, without further instruction he lowers himself to put me in his mouth.

X         X         X

An hour after my toilet encounter with Andrew, I get a message from Mark, letting me know he is now free. He tells me to make my way towards a restaurant on the river for us to enjoy dinner. As I walk I am thankful Mark didn’t want to get straight to action, since I am still rocked by my toilet encounter.

            The restaurant Mark has picked is a casual one, which is fine as I’m not dressed for something more upscale. I see Mark sitting by the bar, having a beer; I approach him, and take a seat next to him.

            ‘Hey,’ he says in greeting. ‘I hope you had a good afternoon.’

            ‘I did yes,’ I say.

            ‘Good, I wish I could have spent it with you, but you know.’

            ‘Doesn’t matter now, were together, so let’s have a good time.’

            Mark told the waitress we were ready to be seated, and she escorted us to a table right in the middle of the restaurant. She then asked me for my drink order, I told her water, and she smiled as she walked away.

            ‘I think she likes you,’ says Mark.

            ‘Well if she does,’ I start, ‘I’m with you right now so it doesn’t matter.’

            ‘That’s nice of you to say. So what have you been doing all afternoon?’

            ‘Oh nothing much, just had a walk around the town nothing too exciting.’

            ‘That’s good you got out,’ says Mark, grabbing my knee under the table. ‘I really did want to be with you this afternoon. I hated the idea of having you sitting around alone. I really wanted to spend all afternoon in bed with you.’

            ‘Well,’ I start to say, but I pause as the waitress returns with my water. We quickly order, and once she’s out of ear shot I continue. ‘Well we still have tonight and all of tomorrow so we don’t need to rush.’

            ‘I know, but you just make me so horny, I just want to bang you all the time.’ I smile to show him I’m flattered. ‘This is the first time me and you have actually be alone in public, it is like were on a date.’

            ‘Well we kinda are,’ I point out.

            ‘We are?’

            ‘Yes, whenever you’re with me we do what you want, and if you want this to be a date, it’s a date.’

            ‘Then it’s a date,’ says Mark, with a massive smile on his face. ‘I’ve never had a date with a lad before. You know you have been a lot of my first with other lads.’

            ‘I hear that so often,’ I laugh.

            ‘I bet a lot of your other guys take you to fancier places than this.’

            ‘Well,’ I say, thinking of what to say, as I hate talking to clients about clients. ‘Some like to try to wine and dine me, before we get to the good parts. But I’m versatile I go where ever.’

            ‘I just wonder what people think the two of us are doing together.’

            I give a quick look around the restaurant and see it’s mostly families, the odd couple. ‘Well most might see us as two friends having dinner, one or two might think we are on a date. But since there is an age difference between us, they probably think were father and son.’

            ‘Father and son,’ says Mark, looking around. ‘Do I look old enough to have a son your age?’

            ‘Like I said, there is an obvious age difference, also I’m not that much older than your daughter.  People just assume, but to me I find the daddy thing quite hot.’

            ‘How so,’ asks Mark leaning in.

            ‘People might think we’re father and son, but little do they know later on daddy is going to fuck his son.’

            ‘Fuck!’ whispers Mark.

            ‘Does that excite you?’

            ‘Yes it fucking does!’

            I smile, knowing this is going to get me what I wanted all afternoon. ‘Well daddy you’ve already paid me my pocket money. So what do you want to do with me?’

TWO MONTHS AGO

‘Tell me the truth,’ said Mark as he’s throwing me my underwear. ‘Is it me or are things just getting better with us?’

            I hold my underwear in my hands for a second before I put them on. I didn’t know if I should lie or tell the truth, but that’s when I realise there are the same thing.

            ‘Oh yes the definitely are,’ I said, reaching down and picking up my bottoms.

            ‘Why do you think that is?’ asked Mark, doing up his belt.

            ‘I think we both know what each other like, and when you do the sex gets better.’

            ‘Hmm,’ says Mark, rubbing his almost flat stomach. ‘It does make me wonder if my wife and I would be this good if we had sex two times a week.’

            ‘Maybe,’ I said, putting on my shirt.

            ‘I’ve got a few more minutes of your time and I just want to enjoy them.’

            Before I knew it, Mark was kissing me, and holding me gently. He was certainly getting brave and confident about everything.

            ‘I need to have you over more,’ said Mark after he finished kissing me.

            ‘I go where I’m told, but it does cost you extra.’

            ‘Well if it’s action like that, it’s worth every penny.’

            ‘Okay, well I better get going,’ I said, needing to get home before next job.

            ‘I guess my time is up,’ said Mark giving me one more kiss. ‘Let’s get you out of here.’

            Mark grabs my hand and leads me out of his office, and downstairs. Just as we reach the ground floor hallway, the front door opens and instantly Mark drops my head.

            ‘Shit!’ whispered Mark.

            As we stand there waiting to be caught, I wonder what excuse Mark will come up with about me being in the house. I knew since I was a guy it would be a lot less obvious that we just had sex. But then again this is Mark’s problem not mine and I can easily just walk away.

            The person who walks through the door wasn’t who I expected. It was a young woman with a nice chest. It was his daughter not his wife.

            ‘Julia,' said Mark, seeing his daughter. ‘What are you doing here?’

            ‘I live here,’ said Julia.

            ‘I know but you’re meant to be at lectures and stuff.’

            ‘And you’re meant to be working.’

            ‘I was working, that’s why I had Lane here help me on a research project.’

            ‘Who’s…’ said Julia, tilting her head to see me, since Mark had walked slightly in front of me. ‘Oh hello.’

            ‘Hi,’ I said.

            ‘Hello,’ she said, again. It was quite obvious she was taken in by the way I looked. ‘I hope my dad wasn’t working you too hard.’

            ‘He works me just the right amount,’ I said, with all innuendos implied. ‘But I must get going I’ve got an appointment.’          

            ‘Well right,’ said Mark, seeming to forget that I was going.

            ‘Well it was nice to meet you,’ I said, to Julia as I walked towards the door.

            ‘Hopefully I’ll see you again,’ said Julia, flashing a lovely smile.

            ‘See you later.’

            ‘Lane I’ll walk you out,’ said Mark, just as I got out of the door.

            ‘You better make it quick,’ I said, as I really needed to be going.

            ‘I think I’ve just come up with a wonderful but weird idea to have you around more.’

            I looked at him with a curious face, because I had no idea what he was on about.

X         X         X

‘This feels so good,’ says Mark, holding me after the second time he’s cum.

            ‘I’m glad you’re enjoying it,’ I say.

            ‘If only I could hold you like this every time we do it. But you always have to rush off.’

            ‘Well if you shoot faster we could cuddle as much as you want.’

            ‘Are you saying you want me to fuck you quickly so we can do this?’

            ‘It was only a suggestion. If you want more intimacy you’ve got to use your time more wisely.’

            ‘I’ll take that into consideration,’ says Mark, gently kissing me behind my ear. ‘But there is something I’ve wanted to ask you. Well not ask you, more pass by you.’

            ‘Okay,’ I say, wondering what he wants to talk about.

            ‘There was a reason why I wanted us to have this little weekend away from everyone. I wanted to see what it would be like if I was to give this whole being with a man thing a go. You know we went to dinner came back had sex, and then tomorrow we will spend the afternoon of hanging out and sex. The truth is so far I really like it. For the longest time I’ve liked having sex and spending time with you. That’s why I wanted to know if you think it’s a good idea for me to leave my wife.’

            Instantly I tense up, this was another weird situation Mark was putting me in. I don’t know whether or not if I should lie, or just say what he wants to hear. I needed to play it safe.

            ‘Why do you want to leave her suddenly?’ I ask, trying to hold off on giving my real answer.

            ‘The truth is I love her, because she is the mother of my daughter, but like I told you before we haven’t had sex in years. We hardly spend time with each other, and lot of the time we just feel like roommate rather than a marriage. But what we have is so nice it feels real, and I like it. That’s why I also wanted to know, if I did leaver her, would be with me?’

            I thought that I had avoided an awkward question, but I have thrown myself into another awkward question.

            ‘You don’t have to answer these now,’ says Mark, after there was a few seconds of silence. ‘I just want you to have a think about this for the rest of the weekend. If that’s okay.’

            ‘Okay,’ I say, quickly.

            ‘Well let’s get some sleep; I’ve always wanted to sleep next to you. Then we can fuck in the morning.’

            ‘Good night,’ I say, trying to relax.

            ‘Good night,’ says Mark, and kisses me on my neck.

`           The next day is an odd affair. Mark and I had sex three more times that day, but there was a lot more cuddling than usual. Mark made no mention of his questions, but was true to his word about spending the day with each other. For me however, the rest of the day very much became work. This was the first time with Mark when I actually had to force myself to enjoy the sex and his company. Mark was one of the very few people I never really had to fake it with, but now if he kept it up like this I was going to have to make it a chore.

            When I eventuly got home, for the first time in a long time I didn’t feel like having any kind of sex, or wanted any kind of company. I needed to think. Next time I see Mark I’m going to have to tell him my answers.

            My honest answers are; if he wants to leave his wife leave her. I know she would be better off as she is an ignored woman, and she could make a better go of it if she was alone, and not worrying about her husband. I know they have a child but Julia is twenty she will get over it. But I know if Mark wants to really leave his wife he needs to do it for himself and not for me.

            As much as I like Mark I’m not going to give up my job, to be with him. I love our sex, it’s properly the best guy I’ve had fuck me in a very long time. But I’ve already got boyfriends and I don’t need another one. Nor am I going to give them all up for him.

            Mark needs to remember what he has is because he pays for it. I’m not there because I want to be, I am there because I am paid. If he said he wants to stop, I’d be upset because I’d be losing out on some great sex, and a dip in income. 

            When I see Mark, I have to be honest and be a professional. He has to know I won’t make his important life decisions for him. He needs to make these decisions on his own, even if it means I end up missing out.

NINE MONTHS AGO

‘How do you feel?’ I asked; bringing Mark a bottle of water.

            ‘I err, feel a lot of things,’ he said, taking the water from me.

            ‘Okay hit me with, happy, sad, disgusted?’

            ‘I err feel well, because I never thought that fucking a guy would be so good. I don’t know if that was just you, but I did have a really good time.’

            ‘Believe me it was all you why you had a good time.’

            ‘But at the same time, I feel ashamed. I just cheated on my wife with a prostitute, and the thing is all this could have been avoided if I would just went home with that lad back when I was fifteen. If I’d done what I just did then, I would have had a different life.’

            I don’t say anything, I just listen. It isn’t the first time a guy has fucked me, cum and then gottlen upset, mad or angry. It happens, so I just keep my mouth shut and let them go on till its time up.

            ‘I’m not blaming you, by the way,’ said Mark, after a few moments, ‘I’m really blaming myself, who knows if would done it when I was a kid I might have gotten over it, or not liked it then.’ He took a deep breath, and then looked at me. ‘You were worth every penny, but how much time do I have left?’

            I casually glance at my clock, pretending not to know much time he has, but I already know. ‘We still got another forty, thirty five minutes.’ I inform him.

            ‘Oh right,’ he says, not looking away from me. ‘What do you usually do in these situations?’

            ‘Well it’s your time you choose,’ I explain, ‘you can leave if you want, or we could do something else, or go again if you’re up for it.’

            ‘Can we talk?’

            ‘Sure,’ I said, with a smile.

X         X         X

            ‘Come on up,’ I say, buzzing Mark into the building. As I wait, I feel nervous, it’s an odd sensation, but given the situation. I try to relax but he knocks the door, and I open immediately. ‘Hello.’

            ‘Hello,’ he says, giving me a gentle hug, and leaving his bag by the door. ‘How are you doing?’

            ‘I’m okay,’ I lie, ‘and you?’

            ‘I’ve been better,’ says Mark.

            ‘What’s up?’

            ‘I’ve just been thinking about what you’re gonna say to me, and I hope it’s what I want to hear.’

            Oh god

            ‘Okay well Mark if we’re going to get into this lets get into this. Right now were just two people who are talking, no clocks, no payments just the cold harsh truth. The truth happens to be you don’t know me, I know you, but you don’t know me. You only know I as the guy you have sex with, and you pay to do so. You don’t know the person I am when you’re not here, and when I’m not working. Like you can’t be with the person you know, because that isn’t me one hundred percent of the time. Also if I were to do what you wanted, what would I do for work? Would you pay for me, would I be you kept boy? The reason we work is that we’re all sex and that’s it. If we would have met under different circumstances we might have had a night of fun, and who knows where it could have gone. But at the end of the day you pay me to make you feel good, and if we were to take that away I wouldn’t be able to make you feel that away every day. So my answer is no Mark, I can’t make a go of it with you. If you want to leave your wife that’s your choice, but I am not going to make that choice for you.’

            After I finish speaking there is a silence between us. I didn’t expect to say so much, but I had to tell him the truth and that was the truth, well part of it at least.

            ‘I see,’ says Mark after a while.

            ‘Now I fully understand if you want to stop things,’ I start to say.

            ‘Stop?’ says Mark, cutting across me, ‘I don’t want to stop. I haven’t had sex with any other guys in months, always you. I don’t want that to stop, but since you won’t be with me willingly I guess I just have to pay.’

            ‘That’s not what I was saying at all,’ I say, trying to defuse this situation.

            ‘It’s fine, it was a long shot. I mean why would you fall in love with me? I’m just one of the many guys who pay you.’

            This was taking an ugly turn; I just hope he doesn’t really flip out. I can take anything he has to say to me as I know I’m breaking his heart right now, but I just hope it is just words he has for me.

            ‘Well maybe we should just call today off,’ I say, hoping to cause some distance. ‘Maybe we can digest what’s been said and see if we want to continue another time.’

            ‘No,’ says Mark, firmly. ‘We have a standing appointment I’m here I got your money so it’s time for you to work.’

            ‘Are you sure?’

            ‘I’m the paying customer aren’t I? Mark walks over to his bag takes out an envelope and leaves on the counter. ‘There’s your payment.’

            Before I could compose myself Mark starts to kiss me. His kisses aren’t his usual soft and gentle kind, there are hard and aggressive. I close my eyes and kiss him back, and try to put this ugliness behind us. Mark backs me up towards the kitchen counter, pressing my body up against the counter and my head on one of the cabinets. I suddenly realise my face is wet, I open my eyes and I see there a few tears running down Mark’s face.

            ‘Are you okay?’ I ask, breaking away from the kiss.

            ‘I’m fine,’ says Mark, and then he lunges at me again. We begin kissing again, and I feel Mark’s hand grasping at my waist. I feel him unbutton my jeans, and loosen up my zip. He stops kissing me, and looks at me, I see that he is still crying a little, but he flips me around before I can comment. He then pulls down my jeans and underwear to my knees. I hear Mark unbuckling his belt, and then I hear a thud on the floor. ‘Now I’m going to fuck you.’ I turn to see him spit on his hand, and then rub it on his dick. I turn around and hear him spit again, but this time I feel two fingers gently massaging my hole, I hear him spit again and he does it one more time. I close my eyes and wait for what’s coming next. I feel his cock just outside my hole, then I feel it right up against my rim, then I feel his damp head force its way into my rectum.

            I gasp out as the pain that shoots through me is intense. I feel him slowly push deeper inside of me, and once he is fully inside me there is only a slight pain on my entry hole. He starts fucking me, and it’s not slow and gentle like I’m used to him starting with; its quick deep thrusts, which I do enjoy, but the way he is ploughing me I can feel the anger each time he goes in and out.

            Mark grabs my shoulder and pulls my body back so he goes deeper into me, he hold me there for only a few seconds then lets me go. When he does I try to straighten myself so I can get a better angle as he’s fucking me, but he grasps the back of my neck and forces me back down, my head narrowly misses the cabinet.

            The only sound I can hear is Mark drilling into me, and the constant clap, clap, clap of him pounding against my ass is all I can hear. With the pain and the sound of Mark fucking me I have no idea of how much time has passed, but I know it can’t be long, but I know Mark’s stamina has improved; if he keeps up this pace it will be over soon.

            I know I shouldn’t be letting him fuck me bareback, he’s upset, given how I’ve just broken his heart, I should at the very least offer him a small part of the real me.

            ‘I’m gonna cum,’ says Mark.

            ‘Okay,’ I say, ready for him to cum inside me, but he doesn’t. I feel him withdraw from me, and then I hear a moan, and then I feel something warm hit my lower back, then another squirt on my left cheek, then another, finally I feel a drip on the back of my left leg.

            ‘Thanks,’ says Mark, and I hear him doing up his trousers.

            I want to turn to look at him but there is a serious pain in my rectum, lower back and spine that’s making it hard for me to get upright.

            ‘I’ll see you next time,’ and Mark leaves, without a kiss, a joke or anything, just leaving me barely able to stand, like the slut he now knows I am.